I didn’t know exactly who I was for a long time.
I went through high school and university falling into the norm of society; I was and still am a "feminine" individual. I love wearing makeup, dressing up, and going shopping with friends. I used to gush about the “cute guy" in school with friends and squealed to them if he said, "Hey". I had long-term relationships with men and always blamed them not working out on it just not being the “right” person.
I had my first crush on a girl in university; she played on the same hockey team as me and I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. I tried to push my feelings out of my mind and just focus on being friends; I made a point to talk to her about the guy I had a crush on, just to make sure to cover my tracks. I smothered my feelings so much that I never acted on the crush and I graduated university without ever really telling her how I felt or acknowledging to myself that I strayed from the "norm" when it came to my sexuality.
In the summer of 2016, when I was 24, a couple of friends and I moved into our new house in London, Ontario. We were all sitting down in the dining room about to sign the tenancy agreement when the fourth roommate – a girl who our landlord found to rent the basement – joined us at the table. Her name was J.
We all sat around talking and I felt something in my heart much more powerful than what I had experienced in university; more powerful than anything I had ever felt before: butterflies.
Over the next few months, I became close with J, opening up to her and letting my walls down so she could see the real me. It was when she described a date she went on with another girl that I felt my first pang of jealousy. I didn’t understand the emotion and again tried to push the feeling away, not accepting what it could mean.
I opened up to my best friend and told her I might have feelings for J, but played it off as more of a friend crush.
As our friendship grew deeper and our conversations grew more frequent, the feelings I kept pushing away continued to unfold in front of me; it was becoming all-consuming.
It was November 17 when I finally gave in to my feelings and kissed her, the best decision I have ever made. Accepting my feelings and finally being true to myself, I felt free. The void that always seemed to be missing in past relationships was filled once I was with J, once I could finally admit to myself who I was and that everything was going to be okay.
The moment I finally came out to my parents was a terrifying one. I didn't really know how they would take it. My mom somehow knew without me even saying anything. She had met J who I introduced as a friend and the moment I was alone with her she said in the most nonchalant way with a smile on her face, “You’re in love with J aren’t you.” My dad was also accepting and has since bonded with J continuously telling her how much he loves her.
My coming out story is not a long and difficult one and I am blessed to be surrounded by friends and family who support and love me. I know coming out can be hard and scary, but accepting who you are and finally getting to be free is worth it. J and I have been happily married since August 2022. We promised our forevers to one another in front of both of our families and friends.
To hear (and see) more about my wife and my love story, watch the video above.