Over & Under-utilizing Character Strengths
My first experimental day was Tuesday, January 25th. This was in the home environment and using one of my top-ranked signature strengths. The strength I decided to go with was Prudence. The reason I decided to concentrate on this strength is that I have not dwelled or written about it in any past assignments.
Prudence is being careful about one’s choices and not taking unnecessary risks. I typically express this strength in a lot of things I tend to do. For example, I wanted to complete an assignment for class since this discussion was due on Wednesday. I like staying ahead of deadlines and as I was writing, I found myself writing things that should not be revealed. I sometimes tend to reveal more than what is needed, especially when I start writing. I had to go back and remove parts and reword things. I was careful in this matter about my choices and what I needed to write to complete the assignment.
In my personal life, I am finding I am constantly using Prudence; however, I would not say I am over-utilizing the strength. I am always careful of my choices when it comes to making purchases, what to write about or talk about, and so forth. Another example of this strength in action would be whether to eat that piece of chocolate when I know I should not. So, why should I not? Well, I am currently on the HCG diet which means extremely limited to no carbs or fat content and sticking with a 500-calorie diet while taking an injection each morning. Eating something that I should not eat would have been a setback on the weight loss and stalled the weight for a day or longer. Such an extreme weight loss program sounds hard, but for someone like me who has done it 4 times already and has changed a lot of my eating habits; of food that has horrible ingredients and is not non-GMO, it is not hard at all. So, even though the chocolate I wanted is keto-friendly and non-GMO, I still am unable to have it during the HCG diet. Prudence intervened and prevented me from taking an unnecessary risk in my weight loss journey.
My second experimental day was Wednesday, January 26th. This was in a work environment, even though I work from home, and I was using one of my lower ranked strengths. The strength I decided to go with was Self-Regulation. Self-Regulation is being disciplined and regulating what one feels and does. I felt like this strength was best to concentrate on during a workday since I am constantly having to deal with customers, many of whom do come across as rude or expect special treatment.
Thankfully, Wednesday was an easy-going day. I did not have to deal with as many rude customers, however, there was one. A customer was upset that they were not offered a discount until after they checked out on one of the company’s websites. I apologized to her and informed her that we did not have any control over the website’s back end, and she could always use the coupon on a future order. She responded with a hateful email, stating that we did have control over it, yet anyone that knows how a company is run, Customer Care does not have control over websites as this is handled by a completely different department.
After much back and forth in correspondence, she finally demanded a 15% discount refund. Again, we explained that we could not do this and could only try and cancel the order so she could use the discount at check-out. Thankfully, we were able to cancel the order as orders are sent to the warehouse every hour and she placed the order at midnight. During the entire time, I had to correspond with this customer, I was utilizing my Self-Regulation strength. Due to having to deal with customers, I am constantly having to be aware of how I feel and what I do. While I might want to get rude right back at them as I am all for “treat others how you would want to be treated,” I must maintain a level of professionalism.
Even in my personal life, outside of my job and academics, I am having to Self-Regulate. So many people are overly sensitive today that it always feels like I am having to walk on eggshells any time I go out and face the world. I am less Self-Regulating because I will openly call someone out. An example is when a stranger jumps in front of me or gets right on top of me while I am shopping. I will speak loud and clear (I am not normally a loud person due to my timid nature) and express my distraught to my companion on how rude the person is for getting right on top of me and in my bubble space. Sometimes, I will end up stating, “Six feet or more, please!”
In conclusion, I find that I do not really over-utilize my main strengths, numbered 1 through 5. I also have found that even though my less utilized strengths, numbered 6 through 10, I still tend to use them often depending on the situation and environment that I am in.
My Appreciative Inquiry Video
My leadership and HQC video
What brings us meaning and purpose in life? This is an extremely hard question to answer for a lot of people, including myself. Even after watching the three videos, I still struggle with this question. Finally, I decided to break down each aspect of my life into the three categories that were provided. It helped to a point, but I still struggle with the concept. I find it harder to answer this question as I am just an average everyday person that is simply trying to survive in a world and time period I did not ask to be born into. Honestly, there are many days I feel like I was born into the wrong time period and often dream of what it could have been like if I were born in, say, the 1800s. I feel like people had a lot more meaning and purpose in their lives in previous centuries than now because almost nothing new is being invented, we have the entire world at our fingertips with our phones and computers, and Americans tend to be caged in our own homes without realizing it while so many other civilizations around the world do not spend nearly as much time in their homes as they would going out into their communities; well, pre-COVID anyway.
What brings me purpose when it comes to work and school would be my determination in getting my degree and starting my own business. For my entire life, I have been at the mercy of someone else; of another company or boss. I have had to rely on that company to not decide to fire me at random one day just because they need to or could. I have lived in a state where it is classified as a “right to work” state which also means companies could let go of their employees for no legitimate reason for it. I am determined to make sure this is something that I do not have to keep on with for the rest of my life. I do not want to be someone that is just holding a job to make minimum wage while those higher up are making a profit thanks to their employees.
My little sister brings meaning to my life when it comes to my relationships. We both lost our mother in August 2021 at the age of 49. We are 9 years apart from one another, but I want to be there for her as best as I can. While I have cut ties with our father, she still tries to have a relationship with him even though he treats her poorly, much like he did our mother. She struggles with being overweight and has a fatty liver as our mother did. She is constantly living in fear that she will end up like our mother with liver cirrhosis and needing a liver transplant. I am working with her to ensure this does not happen. It is just the matter of her needing to listen fully and follow through.
When it comes to spirituality, I would have to say striving to become a Gothi brings purpose into my life. A Gothi is like a Priest, however, it is in Norse Paganism and not Christianity. A Gothi is more like a Seer and the reason I strive to become this is that I do believe I have a higher calling. A Gothi can perform ceremonies such as weddings, funerals, and more. They are well-known for their rune casting and divination. The word itself means “Speaker for the Gods.” The title is of the highest and of most importance when it comes to the Norse Paganism religion.
It is hard to identify my purpose or my sense of core goals and direction in life. Honestly, I would have to say it is to simply survive and leave a small mark on this world that benefits those closest to me. We never know how this world will end up. Everywhere we tend to look these days, everything seems to be in chaos or bordering on chaos.
My current proudest achievement in my life is dropping weight and seeing under 200 pounds for the first time since I can remember. While I am not at my goal weight, this is still of high importance to me as it was about 60 to 80 pounds that I have dropped.
This is an extremely important achievement to me because I have constantly struggled with weight loss. No matter what I did and how hard I tried, I could never drop weight. I have always struggled with imbalanced hormones and doctors would “blame my weight” even though I would always explain to them I did not gain the 50+ pounds until after I started having severe problems with hormonal imbalance in my early 20s. As a teenager, I would eat healthily and exercise while never seeing a difference on the scale or in my measurements. During my 20s, I had to remain on birth control to allow my body to drop 20 pounds and to maintain weight. Without it, I saw an increase in weight within a week without changing anything in my normal diet.
Getting this far in my weight loss journey has not been as difficult for me as it was in my earlier days. However, that does not mean it has been easy, either. The way that I accomplished it is by finding a weight loss specialist in my area that could prescribe HCG injections. The way HCG diet is a “cave-man” diet; it is pigging out for 2 days while taking HCG injections and dropping drastically down to 500 calories for a total of 30 days sometimes less or longer depending on how much HCG was prescribed. My doctor was always good at prescribing more than 30 days because she knew life happens and sometimes people may have to stop and restart due to events that prevented them from finishing the diet.
Will power and the fact I spent a bit good of money are the main strengths I used in accomplishing this. I very rarely spend money on myself, and the HCG diet is not cheap, though it is cheaper than other methods. Such as surgery.
The main person that supported me in the pursuit of this goal is my companion. He is the one that brought the HCG diet to light for me as I had no clue about it. If I had, I would have tried it a long time ago. Besides him, my mother was also another big supporter of this. If anything, she was the reason I was dropping weight as quickly as possible as I was supposed to be tested to become a liver donor for her. Therefore, I had to ensure my liver was not fatty and was healthy enough.
The impact this has had on my well-being is highly positive. Why and how? I am healthier than I once was. I have changed my entire way of eating along with what I eat. We have gone from not caring what we consume and eating out when we go out and do not want to cook at home to eating Organic, Non-GMO foods. We do fastening every single day with no issue. Most days, we do not eat until about 11 AM and we stick to 2 meals a day. Along with fastening, we also stick to keto so all low-carb foods. We do have the occasional “cheat meal,” however, this tends to be once a week (if even that) and we try to aim for things or restaurants that are known to have healthy food, such as from local farms, or at least not full of fillers. Any time we eat at these places, we feel terrible the next day because our bodies have finally gotten to the point where we have discarded all the bad foods we once took in.
Having a support system and knowing my resources worked along with my own will and mental strength. We cannot always take an injection and expect it to work. The HCG diet is not for everyone, and most people end up gaining weight quickly because they do not change their habits. These people expect to drop it and it will stay off without changing anything after the injections. The main takeaway is to never expect a “miracle.” Accomplishing things requires a lot of demanding work. It also takes time, energy, and the ability to change one’s habits.
In accomplishing other challenges and goals, I need to remember my weight loss journey, which is far from being over, and the challenges I faced during this time. It connects to my values as I am determined, headstrong, and willing. I do not want to face disappointment or get discouraged due to tripping over a few anthills. Seeing other people fail in something like this allows me to push through because I know I will not fail where others have.
My companion supports me in achieving my final weight loss goal and other goals I face. When I feel discouraged in school, he reminds me why I am going after my degree and encourages me to move forward because he knows I can go beyond what I think I can do.
I expect to face hardship when it comes to finishing my weight loss journey. The closer I get to my goal, the harder it is to drop weight, therefore, the harder I am going to have to work for it. I can deal with these obstacles by just facing them head-on and knowing how far I have come and how I can succeed.
I can phrase my approach in research terms as if I do the HCG diet, I will drop more weight. However, eventually, HCG will stop being as effective and a pause will need to occur to make it effective again. Therefore, I can continue to do fastening, search for other methods, and discuss my options with my doctor.
Credits:
Created with images by JuergenPM - "tree field cornfield" • fietzfotos - "avenue tree leaves" • Darkmoon_Art - "books globe board" • u_uf78c121 - "sisters heart sunset" • Storme22k - "elder futhark tea teabag" • John_Nature_Photos - "river nature canyon" • PublicDomainPictures - "belly body calories"