When I was seven, my family dubbed me, "The Official Explainer."
To quote Desi Arnaz, “we have a lot of ‘splaining to do."
My extended family clocks in at nearly a hundred people, and runs the gamut of races, religions, neurodivergence, sexual orientations, and political views. Our group looks like the United Nations scattered across the Kinsey Scale.
I have two moms and two dads. That number doesn’t include the five ex-husbands and wives my parents have between them. I have six brothers and sisters, and only one of them could give me a kidney.
My family tree looks more like a family spiderweb.
But make no mistake, we’re a family.
And I’ve never seen a TV family that looks like mine.
A family that is complicated and messy, earning the nickname fam damily. A family full of divorce, adultery, scandal, and love. A story that lives within the push and pull of "I hate your stupid face" and "I need your stupid face."
This is the story of that family. An explosive family that redefines nuclear. A family who has to put all their skeletons in a walk-in closet.
Set In...
Evanston, IL
A suburb right outside of Chicago. A place of dichotomy in all senses of the word. In my days there as a drama teacher, I had one child tell me they couldn’t afford lunch. Another told me they never flew “second class."
Essential Thematic Elements
Function and Dysfunction: At this point, I think functional families are a myth. I haven’t met one yet. How do we learn to live with the family we have?
Family versus The Individual: Individual needs inevitably bump up against what’s good for the family. In a family, the concept of yours and mine doesn’t exist, because everything becomes ours.
Unique Challenges of Living in a Blended Family: The definition of family has expanded, but it’s not any easier to live in one.
Anti-Chekhovian: These characters never live the drama of not being able to go to Moscow. They’ll come up with a thousand cracked as hell ways to get to Moscow.
Marisol Laguna - (Mexican-American, 39)
The helicopter parent just crashed. Grew up in a household where people communicated by yelling. Now wants the perfect sitcom family. Her children don’t speak Spanish as well as her ghost white stepdaughter, who speaks like a Oaxaca native. Ties herself in knots to make other people happy and avoid conflict (even if that means singing to get out of trouble). Owns a dog grooming business because animals are easy to please. Divorce number one: married young to get out of the house and have guilt free sex. Remarried to the kind of guy her friends tell her she’s lucky to have. Isn’t sure why that wasn’t enough for her. She will go from cowering “yes woman” to overcorrecting hard ass and eventually land somewhere in the middle.
Daniel Baumgartner - (White, 45)
Marisol’s ex-husband. An ADHD dad joke wrapped in a Hell’s Angel. His emotionally unavailable father abandoned the family. Daniel won’t leave, even when everyone else would. A therapist who can’t take his own advice. Modern hippie who will overshare with everyone, including the kids. He’d tell his kids which drugs he thought were worth doing based on his experience. Thinks emotional health is accessing every emotion immediately and expressing it fully, even if he’s in a Wendy’s parking lot. Over the course of the show, Daniel’s “happy, healthy, progressive, totally fine with everything” dad veneer will crack, sending him on a downward spiral. Only after hitting rock bottom can he become the father he longs to be.
Adrienne Baumgartner - (White, Jewish, 40)
Daniel’s sister. Marisol’s girlfriend. An Alison Bechdel type “chapstick lesbian”, if Alison Bechdel were a geologist who smokes and likes to say fuck a lot. Coke bottle glasses, well-tailored gender-neutral clothes, and a no-nonsense attitude. Daniel got out of the house as soon as he could, leaving Adrienne alone to clean up after their parents’ divorce. Resents the shit out of him for that betrayal. She’s not fight or flight, she’s fight then flight. Converted to Judaism to piss off her Athiest mom. One of those people who preaches about not allowing toxic behavior into their lives. In actuality, she’s distancing herself from people rather than looking to fix what’s broken. Her family can’t be fixed. So, she wants to start over with a new family of her own. Adrienne’s independent veneer will crack and then break entirely, bringing her to realize how okay it is to need people.
Debra Baumgartner - (White, 65)
Daniel and Adrienne’s mother. Not here to menoPAUSE. Here to menoPLAY. Being the perfect housewife went to shit. Now, Debra wants to get to know Debra, starting with having the teenage rebellion she was never allowed to have. Smoking weed, sneaking out at night to meet up with “boys”, throwing ragers in the basement. Kicking up so much trouble, the homeowner’s association evicted her. Debra will relive her life over the course of the series. She’ll discover older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser, as she finds herself making some of the same mistakes again. Now, she’s living with her son, but he can’t tell her what to do. He’s her son, not her dad.
Jenna Baumgartner - (White, 16)
Daniel’s daughter. Marisol’s step-daughter. A Greta Thunberg wannabe, but without any clear convictions. Pansexual Gen-Zer whose rebellions are overshadowed by her grandma who does them better. In the midst of her huge family, Jenna often finds herself lost in the crowd and not able to fully figure out who she is in the noise of too many opinions and expectations. Becomes a Republican for attention from her liberal parents. Will spend much of the show trying out different identities in order to see what sticks. Wounded, rarely honest about those wounds. When people ask about her biological mom, the story could be anything from “my mom’s a Russian political prisoner” to “my mom died of scarlet fever.” Jenna will go from lost to found to lost again to partially found, but with room for discovery. Growth isn't linear.
Silvia Laguna - (Mexican-American, 14)
Marisol’s daughter. Daniel’s step-daughter. Doesn’t stand out. Stands in. Her little brother talks for her. One long awkward phase topped with ADHD. And we’re talking real awkward phase, not just a pony tail and glasses. Obsessively watches telenovelas and rehearses being confrontational and expressive like the women in those shows. Falls madly in love with a new boy every week, but can’t get up the courage to act on it. Silvia will experience the mind numbing heartbreak that comes with being a complicated girl with a complicated family. She’ll test the theory that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Victor Baumgartner-Laguna - (Mixed Race, 10)
Marisol and Daniel’s son. Little squishy nerd baby. Slight lisp and big eyes. Naruto runs from place to place. Will demonstrate his karate moves without anyone asking. Speaks in sporadic monologues, not sentences. Surrounded by images of Latino villains. Wants to be a Latino superhero. He’s too young to know what’s heroic and what’s actively making things worse. Victor needs to learn that true heroism is often in quiet, little acts of grace. He can’t fix everyone, but he can heal small wounds.
Jaime Alvarado (Mexican American, 41)
Silvia's biological father. Not a bad guy by any stretch of the imagination, but does occasionally rush to judgment and make bad calls in the process. Tries to win full custody of Silvia after assuming that Marisol's life has become too dysfunctional to raise their daughter properly. Learns how to co-parent with Marisol in a way that will screw up their kid only the normal amount.
Mikayla Bautista (26, Filipina American)
Jaime's pregnant girlfriend who isn't just eating for two... she's also angry for two. Working through her rage issues while desperately trying to become Silvia's BFF. Talks a lot of smack about the rest of the family. Doesn't have to follow the "talk shit, get hit" adage because who would hit a preggo. As time goes on, she reveals that while she's quick to anger, she's also quick to love. And she knows how to get rid of any problem, as long as no one asks questions.
Jane Baumgartner (45, White)
Daniel's ex-wife from his first marriage and Jenna's biological mom. Workaholic who tends to think that motherhood is making big gestures from time to time, like buying Jenna a car for her birthday. Tends to not be great on the day-to-day. Sends Jenna on a constant yo-yo trip trying to get her attention. Ultimately, it won't be until Jenna has decided to stop playing the game and distance herself that Jane will do some soul searching (ayahuasca is likely involved).
Ronald Baumgartner (70 - Dead, White)
Daniel and Adrienne's wayward father who eventually takes the term "deadbeat" a little too literally. An agent of chaos who arrives... and eventually departs, at the absolute worst times.
PILOT
SUGGESTIVE POUNDING and a woman moaning from the bedroom. A wedding photo hangs in the hallway, the banging making it tilt on its side. The man from the photo walks in the front door, DANIEL BAUMGARTNER. He enters the bedroom to find his flustered wife from the photo, MARISOL LAGUNA and a lump next to her under the covers. Typically, there'd be an enraged confrontation, but Daniel just says, “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to interrupt, just forgot my keys… but maybe you two want a little company?” He pulls back the blankets and is shocked to find the one person its not okay to bang in an open marriage... his sister, ADRIENNE BAUMGARTNER, who guiltily says, “Don’t tell mom”.
THE LIVING ROOM. Marisol and Daniel as far apart as possible on a love seat. “So we’re getting a divorce.” They address: their son, VICTOR LAGUNA-BAUMGARTNER (10); Marisol’s daughter, SILVIA LAGUNA (14); Daniel’s daughter, JENNA BAUMGARTNER (16); and Daniel’s mother, DEBRA BAUMGARTNER (65). A moment of silence before Jenna yells “again?!”
Feeling awful about breaking this news, Marisol promises them “the best Thanksgiving ever." But Silvia will be spending Thanksgiving at her biological father's to meet his new girlfriend. “Then… best Fakesgiving ever! Tonight!"
A SCHOOL BELL. Jenna storms up to her friends to tell them everything. Instead of caring, they say, “Oh my god, your parents are so cool!” “I wish my parents would get a divorce.” Skipping school, Jenna has a breakdown to her grandma. No one gives a fuck how angry and hurt she is. Debra informs her that to make her parents (soon-to-be ex-step-mom Marisol included) see how much they hurt her, she has to do something drastic to get the message across. A whirlwind day of rebellion ensues, all posted on social media so her parents can witness, of course.
IN SCHOOL. Silvia flees class after a TEACHER who watched too many white savior teacher movies tries to get her to speak in public. Finding Victor Naruto-running alone on the playground, the two decide to ask Silvia's bio dad, Jaime, to take custody of them both, even though Victor isn't his son.
A CAR FULL OF THANKSGIVING FOOD. A frantically busy Marisol gets roped by PTA MICHELLE into finishing all of the costumes for Victor's Thanksgiving play on top of everything else, distracting her while her children sneak off campus.
Daniel begs Adrienne to spend time together that day in order to work through their issues. IN DANIEL’S CAR. Daniel won’t say where they’re going, so Adrienne assumes he's going to kill her. Adrienne breaks away from Daniel, running out onto a frozen lake. CRACK. She falls into the icy water. Daniel dives in after her. Depositing her safely on shore, the two are forced to have a heart-to-heart while huddling together for warmth. It's unclear how the two can move on from what has gone down between them, despite Daniel's efforts.
A CHICAGO BROWNSTONE. JAIME, Silvia's father, says though he would love to have his daughter move in with him, he can’t take Victor. MIKAYLA (20s), Jaime’s girlfriend, comes home early with a HUGE PREGNANT BELLY. Blindsided by the news, the kids run until JAIME’S SHOUTS have faded. Victor proposes that they need to find new parents, starting from scratch.
AT HOME. Marisol pops the turkey in the oven. Half-finished projects and food everywhere. Michelle arrives, pissed at Marisol for not answering the phone and letting her son skip school before final rehearsal. What?! Victor’s not at school?! Marisol rushes out the door, forgetting the turkey in the oven.
IN THE CITY. Victor walks around asking couples if they want free kids. One couple accepts. Victor wants to go with them. Silvia isn’t so sure, but follows her confident younger brother into the couple's car.
After Jenna's parents fail to respond to her rebellion, Debra says Jenna has to go nuclear. Jenna sees a cop and prepares to punch him. Debra pounces on her granddaughter. Too nuclear! The cop demands they break it up. They don’t. And BOOM! Pepper spray to the face. Debra gets the cop to let them go by hitting on him and seriously creeping him out. Turning back to her granddaughter, Debra declares there’s one thing the cool kids at Debra’s high school used to do when they acted out. Rebellion, 1970s style.
In the couple’s car, Silvia’s convinced they’re getting kidnapped. She and Victor prepare to tuck and roll out of the car. SHIT! They didn’t think about child locks! Silvia’s able to squeeze through the window at a stop sign, and runs to a police officer. But she can’t speak to strangers. The couple pulls up to also talk to the cops, because they found these obviously sex-trafficked kids (Victor and Silvia) and were trying to help them. Huh?! Sex-trafficked?
JAIME’S HOUSE. Marisol wants to know if Jaime’s seen Silvia. Jaime decides it's the perfect time to tell her that he wants full custody. A fight ensues and Mikayla tries to kick Marisol's ass, and Marisol can't fight back against a pregnant woman. Daniel and Adrienne arrive, providing backup, but are interrupted when the police drive by with Silvia and Victor.
POLICE STATION. TALKING OVER ONE ANOTHER. Everyone tries to convince the CPS agent that they’re good parents. The CPS lady tells them that she sees a lot of broken families, and if they care this much about their children, the kids will be okay. Just then, the family sees a news bulletin about two female streakers in downtown Evanston. They hurry out the door, quickly picking up Debra and Jenna before any more trouble can happen.
PULL UP TO THEIR STREET to find their kitchen is on fire! The costumes are still inside! Firemen stop Marisol from running in. Trying to save Fakesgiving, Marisol forces her family to go around in a circle and say one thing they’re thankful for. The house smoldering behind them.
VICTOR’S SCHOOL PLAY. The PTA moms loudly gossip about the family in light of the news breaking about Marisol's affair with Adrienne. Onstage, Victor SINGS HIS SONG as the turkey about families being together and being grateful for what they have. One by one, the family grabs hands. The song then takes a weirdly dark turn when the other kids eat Victor the turkey.
Undeterred, the family keeps holding hands.
Season One
The matriarch of the family swung at the tree with an axe. Now, the family tree is threatening to fall. By the end of the first season, timber, it’ll come crashing down.
Episode Two: While Marisol and Adrienne hook up on the couch, the ancient family dog, Rosco, dies. Adrienne has to keep the kids distracted for the day while Marisol looks for a replacement dog. Meanwhile, Daniel contemplates leaving the family, only to be caught and blackmailed by Debra into teaching her to ride a motorcycle. After realizing how much change the kids are experiencing, Marisol asks Adrienne to go on a break. By the end of the episode, both Daniel and Marisol are forced to put their children’s needs over their own.
Episode Three: Complications arise when his drama teacher casts Victor as John Wilkes Booth in her youth-friendly version of Assassins and Victor realizes he's not seen as a "hero type." Marisol is ostracized while Daniel is hit on by every divorcee in town. Jenna realizes only one rebellion will impact her parents: become a Young Republican. At school, Silvia becomes a local celebrity because of her parents’ divorce drama, only to be left alone again at the next scandal. Adrienne visits a sperm bank in the hopes of becoming a mom, but when they're low on supply, Debra proposes looking for samples among the local old dudes. By the end of the episode, the family has to reckon with how life hasn’t turned out as they hoped.
Episode Four: Jenna decides she’s going to have a “coming out party," to tell her parents she’s Republican. Debra misinterprets as Jenna wanting to throw a rager. To get rid of the “parents," Debra sets Marisol up on some dates. Debra makes sure Daniel and Adrienne find out. Jenna’s having a hard time with the whole abstinence part of being conservative. Victor starts trying to save people by putting them in danger. Silvia sees Jenna and the boy she likes disappear into the bedroom. She thinks the two are having sex. The boy doesn’t want to have sex, and comes out to Jenna. Silvia, thinking back to her favorite telenovela, pushes Jenna down the stairs. A furious Daniel asks Debra to consider how her behavior impacts the family.
Episode Five: The Christmas episode. Marisol wants to have the perfect holiday, but all of the family’s religions mean they’re having the perfect Christmas/Hannukah/Winter Solstice. Silvia asks if her father, Jaime, and his girlfriend can also come for the holidays, making things even more complicated. Trying to get Silvia to come out of her shell, Jaime signs her up to perform at the Holiday pageant at school that night. Jenna comes out to Daniel as a Republican, who reacts like a fundamentalist might respond to their kids being gay. Jaime’s girlfriend goes into labor. Adrienne kisses Marisol, who kisses her back. When the baby arrives, Daniel and Adrienne find out their estranged dad has died.
Episode Six: After a judge declares Silvia can choose which parent she lives with, Marisol and Jaime compete for their daughter’s love in planning her quinceañera. Debra’s accidentally injured because of Victor’s “heroism” and has to grapple with her age after her resulting surgery. Daniel and Adrienne travel together to identify their father’s body. It’s been so long since they’ve seen their dad, they’re not sure the dead man is him, but claim him. Adrienne asks Daniel if he would consider donating sperm so she can have a biological child with Marisol. An explosive argument occurs and they throw their father’s ashes at one another. The funeral home calls because the ashes did not belong to their father. After comforting the actual widow, Daniel agrees to be a sperm donor.
Episode Seven: Marisol wants to find the perfect way to tell the kids she and Adrienne are starting a family. Jenna tells Adrienne she will never give her approval. Silvia discovers that Marisol never wanted children. At Silvia’s dad’s encouragement, After Victor’s heroic acts land him in the paper, Debra has to keep the reporter from sniffing out the truth. Marisol fears Silvia would be better off with Jaime, while Daniel fears he may not be the best person to care for his mother.
Episode Eight: Silvia’s quinceañera. Marisol asks Adrienne if they can keep their relationship quiet during the party, as she doesn’t want Silvia’s extended family finding out, causing a rift. After witnessing a fight between Jaime and Mikayla, Adrienne is tempted to steal Silvia’s infant half-sister. The baby goes missing, and Debra realizes that Victor took her so that he could be a hero and “find” her. Before Debra can do anything, Victor’s deeds are discovered in front of everyone. Jaime uses all this to justify why Silvia should move in with him, and she agrees.
Episode Nine: Debra finds out Daniel’s considering sending her to a living facility and engages in “tactical mayhem” military strategies against her son. Victor has to come to terms with the fact that he may be a bad guy. At an anti-abortion rally, Jenna sees a friend of hers looking to get birth control and getting accosted. Jenna stands up for her friend, sparking a riot. After Jenna's mom fails to show up after Jenna is arrested, but Marisol does, Jenna hugs her and calls her "mom." She gives Marisol and Adrienne her blessing.
Episode Ten: Jenna has a new underground business, hopping between Planned Parenthoods to help girls at school get birth control on both sides of the aisle. Daniel goes through a lot to jerk off into a cup. Debra makes the best of her new life at the living facility, but incites an elderly orgy. Treated as a babysitter at her dad’s house, Silvia considers moving back to Marisol's. A pregnancy test reveals Marisol is pregnant, prompting Silvia to change her mind. As the family celebrates together, Daniel and Adrienne’s father walks in.
In season two, the Baumgartner-Laguna crew's still hauling away all the debris after the family tree has fallen. But in clearing the wreckage, an acorn is found that will reunite them. A new tree is planted. They come back together.
The third season features the family attempting to nurture the baby tree of connection that sprouted between them. Tough to do when there’s a metaphorical axe still nearby. Anyone could pick it up and chop. They’ll all feel that urge at different points.
By the final season (whenever that is), the family will be completely reunited, moving forward together.