Catenian Life CATENIAN MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES HAVE SUBMITTED STORIES OF THEIR LIVES AND MEMORIES AS CATENIANS. ​PLEASE SCROLL THROUGH THE PAGE TO READ THEM

Centenary Conference in Manchester 2008, by Brother Barry Mellish

The Manchester No.1 Centenary Conference was held in Manchester in 2008. Julia and I went to the Mass at St John’s Cathedral Salford celebrated by Bishop Brain on the Thursday and I attended the Manchester No. 1 circle centenary meeting on Friday afternoon. This was the second biggest meeting ever with 550 brothers present. The meeting was very well conducted with President Phil Barnes in the chair.

After the meeting I went to the central library to see the exhibition about the association. Bill Beach’s contribution was included giving the details about St Thomas More and Leonard Longstaff. I was interested to see that the first circle members wore name badges.

On Friday evening there was a civic reception at Midland Hotel with the Lord Mayor sporting purple hair and a barbershop choir to entertain us.

The conference gathered early on Saturday morning in the Bridgewater Hall. We were greeted in song by the brothers and were soon joining in with the song. There was much amusement trying out the electronic counting devices. The Grand President David Taylor gave an excellent address but the highlight of the weekend for me was Fr Timothy Radcliffe’s amusing and helpful address. He spoke particularly of the need for friends for partners in a happy marriage.

Saturday night we attended one of the evening festivities that took place across the city.

On Sunday we were back in the Bridgewater Hall for the Mass said by the Cardinal. It was a memorable occasion marked by splendid singing and the Cardinal’s homily.

Memories of Catenian Life, by Joan McConnell

The year 2022 commemorates the founding of Bromley circle. It is an appropriate time to look back and remind ourselves of our experiences of the Catenian association in the 60’ and 70’s. My husband Bill was a young Catenian, when we married in 1960, I arrived from Ireland and was a very young bride.

My first encounter with the association was at a Kemsing picnic, where I was introduced to many Catenian families. This was a daunting experience for me, but many of these initial introductions blossomed into friendships, which like our marriage stood the test of time. On a later occasion, when ascending the stair at the New Inn at Hayes, I overheard a conversation between two Catenian wives who were discussing the relative values of a tennis court vs a swimming pool. At that point I felt that I had entered a parallel universe. We enjoyed 42 years of married life and had 3 delightful children and 5 grandchildren.

The friendships previously mentioned were nourished by our shared faith and the ethos behind the Catenian association. Sadly, many of our friends have gone to their heavenly reward, but they are fondly remembered and often spoken about. In these early times, there were many occasions Catenian men, and their wives could enjoy. Many happy afternoons were spent watching cricket being played, a couple of the ladies were involved in scoring the game. On one of these occasions, I recall Bill battered a ball straight into the sand pit, where the children were playing. He scored a direct hit on his daughter Annette. No damage was recorded.

The annual dinner dance was a highlight of the year, as was President’s Sunday. We got to visit many prestigious London hotels and heard a variety of engaging speakers. We also attended Carol concerts. Sunday evenings were often spent in London parks listening to orchestral music. Theatre visits, golf, bridge and car rallies were other popular pastimes. The annual Vice President’s speech was a must for Catenians.

The children were also catered for. The annual Kemsing picnic was a great favourite. On these days the children played games and entered competitions which they greatly enjoyed. The day always ended with a tug-of-war or should I say ‘many’ tugs-of-war. We also had a trip to the circus and had many pantomime visits. The older teenagers got together and were involved in the Scouts, the choir and an informal debating group.

The spiritual life of the families was enhanced by regular masses. Catenian men were always in support of parish life, they ran bottle stalls at St Joseph’s and the Holy Ghost Fathers. They were involved in parish initiatives, such as family groups. They contributed generously to appeals and sponsored competitions for young adults.

Reflecting on these earlier days makes me feel privileged to have developed personally under the influence of the association. The opportunities to belong, to join in and to contribute is greatly appreciated, as is the kindness and consideration which one experiences. Catenian families grew up together and have many happy memories of their experiences as children of Catenians.

Times have changed, in many ways for the better. But personally, I feel that today’s generation are much more individualised, they are far less reliant on language and community. Their dependence on the internet has to be challenging for society. The 2019 pandemic hasn’t helped. We as usual put our trust in the Lord and pray for the young children who are charged with the responsibility of being custodians not owners of their future. May God bless and protect them in their endeavours, may He also lend support and guidance to future generations of Catenians.

IN REMEMBRANCE of John moffett

Words from his son, Robert Moffett

John Moffett, who was a long term Catenians member, passed away on Saturday 17th December 2021 at the Park Avenue Care Centre.

John was a member of St Joseph’s parish for over 50 years, and must have joined the Catenians when I was at secondary school I think, so back in the late 1970s. I remember well the various days out with other families from the Parish over the years.

Brother Duncan remembered John Moffett well and sent a message to Robert reminiscing that he used to play squash for many years down at Sandford Road Tennis Club, meeting up with John when he was down there.

I know how much he loved his tennis and squash. Despite him trying, I didn’t engage with either as much as he did, but do love to swim, having erased the memories of being drilled by Dad on my spelling and times-tables on the way to Greenwich baths!

We was a lovely man, and lucky to have many good friends in his life.

Please pass on this message to anyone who might remember him. And please keep the repose of his soul in your prayers.

The page is closed now, but for a photo and some more information please see the Just Giving page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/John-Moffett-RIP

Memories from a past President of the Bromley Circle

Michael Douse

I was invited to join the Catenians by a letter from a work colleague who was the Coulsdon Circle President Derek Gooderham although not known to me at the time we had a mutual business contact, viz. a certain Mobil Oil representative, Arthur Nutt.

Terry Jarrod was asked if he knew of my existence at St Swithuns church and I was eventually invited to visit Bromley Circle at the Hackwood Hotel.

There I met a fellow visiting gentleman Anthony(Tony) Record with whom we started to learn to play golf together at Magpie Hall.

At Circle meetings I found that my family doctor Dr Morris was a Bromley Brother who’s first words to me were “please call me Ivor now!”

Other brothers I met that night were Dick Buckley, Bill McConnell, George May, and Tony Barenbrug.

The Donovan brothers, who owned a large paper bag factory near New Cross, were visiting gentlemen who were invested a month or two before Anthony and me, and there much laughter with them pretending they had been invested with paper bags over their heads!

The first Safari Supper Janice and I attended was a wonderful introduction to the brothers in their homes and their welcome was effusive and memorable and over the following years Janice and I really enjoyed hosting a course in our home.

I remember borrowing my friend’s Lotus Europa to drive round on one year’s Safari Supper and relishing driving up to the Osgood’s lovely home on Bromley Common.

With the help of Arthur Nutt, Bob Macey and John Mattison I eventually managed to become a member of Sundridge Park Golf Club and well over 30 years later I am still happily a member.

The friendship and fun was always hand in glove with a strong reassuring background of spiritual support for which I remain very grateful.

The remembrance of deceased brothers at the annual masses at Circle and Province were always poignant events.

Catenians has become a focal point in Janice’s and my life.

I am so grateful to be a Catenian.

Floreat Catena

CATENIANISM AND ME

My family has a long association with the Catenians. My paternal grandfather, Charlie McAleer, was a founder member of the ‘Chums’, as I believe it was then called, in Glasgow.

My father, Tommy McAleer, was a lifelong devotee, a member of London Number Two. When he was President the Circle had its annual dinner and dance at the Mansion House and John and I attended with our eldest son Hugh, then about sixteen and wearing his first (hired of course) dinner jacket.

My second son Tom, is a member of his Dad’s Circle in Bromley and also a member of Westerham Circle; he has served as President in both.

I met my husband John when he came to do a three week locum for my father, a GP. John came from Tipperary and in those days I think the Catenians were unknown in Ireland. Once we were married, Daddy of course immediately introduced John to the Bromley Circle where we received a warm welcome. That would have been in the early nineteen fifties.

Norman Braund was the President then he and his lovely wife Fiona invited all members of the Circle, with wives, to the wedding of his daughter just after John had graduated from being a ‘visiting gentleman’. Another prominent member of the Circle was George Bray, a stockbroker with an amazing talent for the piano – he had been instructed by Carroll Gibbons, the leader of the Savoy Hotel’s band, and had the lovely slow romantic way of playing which was the characteristic of Gibbons. George even had his own little dance band at the time and I believe it was playing on the night we went to our first dinner dance at the Green Man Hotel locally.

My brothers Jimmy and Michael were both Catenians. Mike followed our father into London Number Two, then had dual membership in City of London, where he served as president.

John and I made so many good and lifelong friends in the Circle – Nan and Dick Buckley, Mary and Jim McNamara, Joan and Bill McConnell, Mary and Arthur Nutt, Pat and Camilla Doyle-Davidson, Gill and Tom May, Douglas and Thelma Malone, just to name a few.

The first time we attended Mass at St Joseph’s John was astonished to find that someone who had sat next to him all through medical school in Dublin was in a bench ahead of us. The students sat in alphabetical order: Ivor Morris and his lovely wife Gwen, introduced us to the Record family. Their daughter Josee and their son Anthony are still friends of mine.

Will Almond was another devoted member of Bromley Circle. To my recollection he had not been a Catholic until a friend took him to Mass for deceased brothers. He told me that he found the idea of brothers praying for those gone before them so attractive that he converted and joined the Association.

Will lived well into his nineties; he taught at Bishop Challoner School and may well have been its first headmaster (if anyone can confirm this please email me). Registered blind in his later years he would still be seen regularly cycling around the district on his ancient bicycle which transported him to the old people’s homes, where he would entertain the residents with songs – most of them actually younger than him.

Eventually, of course, the bicycle was beyond repair, even for a skilled handyman like Will. Anxiously he consulted fellow Catenians about whether it would be worth investing in a new one at his age. His advisers were united in telling him that he wouldn’t get his money’s worth, to the considerable relief of all his friends.

The circle had two Dutch members, Henk Van Maurik, a journalist, and Simon Van Nispen, a diplomat. Another devoted member was Frank Megarry also a journalist. When he heard that I was doing a bit of freelancing his inevitable greeting to me would be “Written any good knitting patterns lately?”

Ronan and Phyllis O’Brien were another couple with whom we shared Catenian ‘safari suppers’. This was before the tightening-up of drink/driving legislation, I hasten to add, and thankfully in the days when there was not so much traffic on the roads. The safari suppers would be impossible today, as every couple hosted a course for about eight people, after which the diners would pile into their cars to go elsewhere for the next course, and so on, until we all had coffee with the president and his wife. Ronan has retired to Wales.

I remember dear Madge and George May, Pam and Gordon Winter (who adopted four lovely children) and Mike Pollard and his wife Nora. Mike and my John hailed from the same area in Tipperary and Mike’s mother had been John’s godmother.

We all found strength in our shared Catholic faith and the support which membership gave us in bringing up our young families.

Some of us played bridge regularly once a month in each other’s houses and we had annual picnics in a Catenian’s lovely summer house in Kemsing, much enjoyed by all the children as sports were organised. Dick Buckley always won the fathers’ races and his wife Nan the mothers’.

The Circle played such a large part in our lives that Katie, one of my daughters, could not believe, when she got into her teens, that she herself was not a member. She was really indignant: “Mummy, I always through I WAS a Catenian!” she informed me.

If I could change one thing about the Catenians it would be that they should offer some sort of fellow membership to non-Catholic husbands of girls from Catholic families. I am not for a moment suggesting that the wives themselves should be members, but it has always seemed a great pity that those girls were deprived of the support of the association.

I have no idea when the first Catenian Circle was set up in Ireland, but I do remember when the Cork Circle was established. What a weekend that was! We went with my parents, stayed in a magnificent hotel, and every time the lift door opened you found another group of old Catenian friends.

The other great overseas visit was to Australia with the group who went to establish the first Circles there. We went to Adelaide first and I well remember the welcome we got from its Archbishop, who told us how attractive he found the idea that Catenianism put family first. “In the life of every priest”, he told us, “there is one family who keeps him a priest”. That touched me so much.

We did not, however, have the same welcome from the Archbishop of Sydney, who happened to be a passenger on the flight bringing us from Adelaide to his patch. The Grand President, on hearing that he was a fellow traveller, went to introduce himself and explain what we were doing. That Archbishop crisply informed him that Australia already had associations of Catholic men and there was no need, in his view, for another!

When we visited Melbourne, John and I had a happy reunion with the Scully family; Leo had been working for their government in London but had returned to Australia a few years before our visit. Another Australian connection was with Pat and Dick Brown, when Dick had been stationed in London. Both Leo and Dick were Catenians.

I can’t conclude this little foray into the past without recording the wonderful times I had with the Catenian golfers on their annual expeditions to famous gold courses in Europe. The holiday would last a week and we made contact with Catenian golfers from every area. There was one in Ireland where the local villagers had hung a banner over to main street to welcome us. Sadly the weather was not on our side and the banner dripped disconsolately at an angle. One of our friends decided to take a lesson with the local pro. At the end of the lesson he enquired how much was owing “Sure, I couldn’t charge you anything”, admitted the pro “I haven’t been able to improve you at all!”

Like Katie, I suppose I have always imagined that I was a Catenian. The Association has played an important part in my life ever since Daddy taught me to drive as soon as I was seventeen, just so I could drive him up to Circle meetings in London and be sure to collect him afterwards.

Thanks to all the Bromley Catenians, here and gone before us, for so many happy times, so much support whenever we were in trouble, and the true and lasting friendships we all appreciated so much.

May Almighty God bless you all.

Maureen Mullally Clarke

Bromley Circle 1960-1978 and Cork Circle

MICHAEL ALEXANDER BYRNE (Deceased)

Cork Circle was saddened to learn of the death of Mike Byrne on 15th November at the age of 88.

Mike was born in Hampstead, London on 29th September 1933 and was educated in Mount Sackville and in Blackrock College, Dublin, one of Ireland’s most prestigious rugby playing colleges, during the war years, as both of his parents were involved in the war effort – his mother was a WAAF and his father was in the REME. Mike spent nearly all of his time when not in school with family in either Dublin, Derry or on the family farm at Aghyaran in Tyrone.

On completing his Leaving Certificate at Blackrock College in 1951, he moved back to be with his parents in England and applied to study A levels at a college in Essex with a view to pursuing Dentistry as a career. After this college course, in about 1953, he was conscripted for National Service and joined the Royal Army Medical Corps. On completion of his National Service in 1955 he joined Fords at Dagenham before finding employment for Shell, Shell Mex & BP and finally BP.

During his time in the army he began to play rugby in earnest and represented both the RAMC and indeed, the Army, on several occasions.

His first game for London Irish Rugby Football Club (LIRFC) was in 1953, on April 4th, against North of Ireland RFC, a victory by 14 – 11. His second game for LIRFC first XV was not until 12 months later at the end of the 1953/54 season and by 1954/55 season he was a regular 1st XV player. He played 316 games over a 13 year career – still a record – until his final game in 1966. He met his wife Eileen through The Irish Club in London and LIRFC. They were married in Brompton Oratory on his 27th birthday (29/9/60)……. By Mike’s uncle Fr. Joe Byrne and began married life living in Bromley, Kent.

​In 1966 Mike moved his family to Derry in Northern Ireland. His paternal family had been in Derry for many years and it was natural for him to want to bring his own family of 3 children up in these familiar surroundings. Within a few years of course, Derry was to hit the headlines worldwide as the Civil Rights movement developed and other events spun off that, propelling Derry and Northern Ireland into what is now known as ‘The Troubles’. Mike played a part in this too, enlisting in the Ulster Defence Regiment (UDR) after being asked to do so by Nobel Peace Prize winner, John Hume and Fr Edward Daly, later Bishop of Derry. At the time the newly formed UDR was designed to be a non-political, non-sectarian replacement for the heavily loyalist Police ‘B’ Specials. Ultimately, this aspiration failed.

In 1978, pursuing promotion and a career within BP, Mike moved back to England, to Fareham in Hampshire where he worked as a Distribution Manager for BP at their oil refinery in Hamble. At that stage he transferred his Catenian membership to Portsmouth Circle.​

​In 1986, having been offered early retirement, Mike and Eileen decided to move back to Ireland. The years 1978 – 1986, whilst representing a relatively short span in their own lives, were the formative growing years for their children and by 1986 each of Mike and Eileen’s 3 children were on life paths that meant they would each stay in England.

They settled in Cork and almost immediately Mike became Secretary of Cork 255 Circle and in 1990 he became Circle President. In September 2017 he was awarded a certificate for 50 years membership of the Association.

Mike had always retained his love for rugby and in Cork, rather than just watch the game, he worked with the Munster Branch of the Irish Rugby Football Union for a number of years. In addition he was an active member of the Church choir in his parish.

Almost two years ago, due to Mike’s failing health, Mike and Eileen moved to a nursing home in Mitchelstown, Co. Cork, where he died peacefully in November.

Mike will be greatly missed by his Catenian Brothers but he will be most strongly missed by his wife, Eileen, by his children Brigid, Kevin and Dominic, their spouses Phil, Angela and Alison and by his grandchildren Anthony, Kieran, Charlene and James.

May he Rest in Peace.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a h'anam dílis (means: May his holy soul be on the right side of God)

Denis Kirby (Cork Catenian Circle)

Story submitted by Gill May, wife of Brother Tom May:

Tom joined the Catenians in 1968. Gordon Winter took him to meetings as a visiting brother in 1967 when we had been married and living in Bromley for a year. The circle was very lively in those days but we must have been the youngest. There were a lot of obviously older and more affluent people, but they were most welcoming. I met the McConnell's and Jerrold's at the first function that I went to, and Joan McConnell and I have been friends ever since. Jim McNamara and Gorden and Mike Pollard were Tom's sponsors and were very caring of our family. Mike and Nora also became very good friends and put Tom up when he needed a bed in Bromley later on.

The circle met in the New Inn in Hayes in those days and held dinner dances there too. There were frequent functions that included the family. We went on picnics to Kemsing, which I believe was the home of a member, and the children were encouraged to play sport there. The circle also played five-a-side football against other circles and our boys played in the youth team. Then there were the cricket matches against Dulwich Catenians, where I met their captain, Peter Walsh, and there began another friendship. The first few matches were played at St Mary's in Sidcup and I was the scorer. Later they moved to the ex-Blues club in Hayes. I remember Joan and I sunning ourselves with Eileen Macey, while our children played and the men played cricket.

In time, Tom and I moved to a remote farm outside Penrithin Cumbria, we were there for two years and several people came up to visit us. Tom visited the Carlisle circle and I remember an enjoyable Burns night there. Tom also went to functions in Bromley as he supported his friend Bill McConnell who was a President. We returned from Cumbria to enjoy Terry Jerrold's presidential year. At one meeting John McAvoy introduced himself as he recognised Tom's accent - and so another friendship began, he was in the Dulwich circle.

Tom became president in 1981 and then really found out just what it was all about. We had a hectic year with dinner dances at other circles, and a province dinner at the Inn on the Lakes. We had a province weekend away at Portland Bill in Dorset. In the July we had President's Sunday. Tom had to restrict numbers, but even so we had 160+ brothers and families in our garden. We borrowed chairs from Joan's school and we went on a booze cruise to France to get the wines. I did the buffet catering with the help of my extended family. Luckily it as a beautiful summers day. Alan Sills joined the circle during Toms presidency and have been lasting friends since.

I remember some years later a circle trip to Le Touquet which was a laugh from start to finish. We had early evening drinks in various rooms and Tom became the ice boy! Jim McNamara got lost in the hotel one night which caused much amusement. Maureen and John Mullally became our very good friends and Maureen still is.

Bromley held wonderful dinner dances in places like the Cumberland Hotel and St Ermines Hotel and they were a great success. Tom had his dinner dance at the Spinning Wheel in Westerham and had a waiting list as it was oversubscribed. When we took up golf in our 50's, we joined Provincial and then national golf society and had some good breaks with them. We usually went with the Mullally's and Sam and Cath Doherty. I also remember wonderful barbeques at Louis Azzopardy's School. Another thing I remember is the fact that there was a bridge group in the circle and they met in our house on one occasion during Tom's year. It was run by Patrick Doyle Davidson. For many years we went as guests of the McAvoy's to Dulwich circle's dinner dances at The Savoy.

Now as to why the numbers are so low in the movement, I have my own ideas. It is frankly not attractive to younger people. In more modern families both parties work and men have more to do at home then in my generation. Children have far more after school activities, and have to be driven everywhere, which is time consuming. We used public transport and cases of violence to young people were not on TV screens nightly. I don't know how, but you have to make it more attractive to young people. I think it would be a grave mistake to invite women to join, and it should never be open to non Catholics. I have told Tom that I would only apply when the UCM invites men to join. It was set up to be an organisation for Catholic business men and encourage family life or words to that effect. Sadly the membership of all organisations have taken a big hit recently so you are not alone. I personally do not enjoy being invited to your meetings but I have always enjoyed the social activities. I end my ramblings here.

Gill May

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