In the last decade or so, we have witnessed a growing, collective obsession with our technology, especially once smartphones with touchscreens came around. Just about everyone who has this technology is guilty of it - kids are glued to tablet screens, teens are completely attached to their phones, and even adults may pay more attention to their screens than their own children. So are smartphones taking over our family and friendship dynamics? Or perhaps, they already have?
Kids and Teens and Technology in the Family
In today's world, kids spend a lot of time with screens. Whether it's for learning or leisure, many kids spend well over the 1-2 hours of screen time recommended for them. This can lead to children having a hard time concentrating on schoolwork if it is not as stimulating as a TV show or a video game, which releases dopamine (Williamson). This applies to teens, too, who are often caught up in scrolling through social media or texting friends. Each like or text releases dopamine, too.
Another issue is children's connection with their parents. It would make sense that many kids probably spend more time with technology than with their own parents. If not only the kids but also the parents are glued to their screens, neither party is really paying attention to or connecting with each other. It's no wonder, then, that a study found that 54% of kids aged 4-6 would rather spend time watching TV than hanging out with their dad (Williamson). Ultimately, it is disheartening that even young children and parents are seemingly disconnected from each other when there is heavy use of technology. As for teens, it's sort of expected that they start to branch away from their parents at "that age", but technology more often than not does nothing but perpetuate this. Kids of all ages are immersed in their screen time, even to the point of wanting nothing to do with their parents.
A solution for the first issue is for parents to monitor and moderate the amount of time kids spend with their screens, and to offer help and support, and to be involved with their learning. The second depends a lot on the parents. Getting off their own screens to engage with their kids and spend time with them is important for their health and well-being on all levels. The first step to building strong bonds, I think, is to be present. Even something like reading a children's book together, like in the picture, can be a great bonding activity, as well as enriching for a child's developing brain.
Parents and Technology in the Family
Parents are equally guilty of tech obsession. Having technology also makes it easier to access business connections, whether that be employees or employers, so work and home lives blend together a lot more than they used to (Williamson). However, this means that while a parent is caught up in a work email or an urgent call, they are probably ignoring their child or teen in the process, even if they have the best of intentions. An example of this is a study done on families in restaurants: "out of 55 families, 40 parents were doing something with their phones while they were with their children" (Baumgardner). To make matters worse, kids were often scolded for interrupting if they tried to get their parent's attention. This can lead to hurt feelings in kids and teens, and may feed into them withdrawing from family connections and spending more time with screens, where they can text friends who may pay them more attention or at the very least, have a distraction. Whether a parent realizes it or not, their own obsession with technology harms both the child and themselves in their relationship. If this issue is neglected, it could drive them apart and create misunderstandings in their relationship.
This raises a need for more awareness to be spread to parents about their technology use. Ultimately, I believe that if a child is still a dependent, the parent should be the one primarily putting in the effort into their relationship with their kid. It at least makes the sense that while they're your responsibility, you should give them the attention they deserve. Initiating family activities like game nights or day trips to fun places offer great bonding opportunities for kids and parents, so that is one action a parent can take to strengthen their bond with their kids. Even simple things like asking questions about their life and their interests can show a child that they are cared for and that they matter. For parents and kids who really struggle to put down their devices, having stricter rules that every family member is held accountable for may be necessary. Leaving phones in a designated area at dinner time or during other family activities and not retrieving them until the activity is over can be a promising solution.
What Can Tech Companies Do to Help?
Of course, it makes sense to turn the question over to the people responsible for everyone's tech addictions, and that is tech companies. It's no secret that tech is deliberately designed to make us want to use it for just five more minutes, and then an hour goes by. It's so easy to get lost in rabbit holes on the internet or social media, but this ultimately takes time away that we can be spending with our families and loved ones. It is crucial that they keep this in mind when designing their products or services. For example, social media platforms could have functions that prompt users to take a break after using it for a certain amount of time. This could help users be more aware of where their time is going and restructure it so that the time they spend reflects what they truly value and what they want to be doing. While this seems like a simple request, to tech companies that value profit above all else, this is a very tall order, as fulfilling it would mean that they are losing money. That being said, we need more humane tech companies that care about the well-being of the people they're creating products for, and to spread more awareness of the harms they're creating. When profit is valued more than people, nothing good comes out of it in the long run.
Sources
Baumgardner, Julie. “How Technology Affects Families.” First Things First, First Things First, 14 Oct. 2020, https://firstthings.org/how-technology-affects-families/.
Williamson, Kim. “5 Ways Technology Has Negatively Affected Families.” HowStuffWorks, HowStuffWorks, 6 Mar. 2012, https://electronics.howstuffworks.com/family-tech/tech-effects-on-family/5-ways-technology-has-negatively-affected-families.htm.
Credits:
Created with images by sitthiphong - "woman using smartphone on staircase in public areas, During leisure time. The concept of using the phone is essential in everyday life." • Halfpoint - "Young family with two small children indoors in bedroom reading a book." • Jacob Lund - "Woman holding her baby and texting on her phone"