What does it mean to “be a man?” A phrase that many men and boys have heard from their parents and peers throughout their lives, many look to the media for an answer. By looking at how the media portrays men, we can gain an insight into both how men learn gender roles that are harmful to themselves, and why the cycle continues even with increased knowledge and statistics on how harmful “traditional masculinity” has been to health.
In media, the "masculine man" is conveyed through four main methods:
- Portrayal of characters: Media often portrays male characters as strong, assertive, and dominant, while female characters are depicted as emotional, nurturing, and passive. This reinforces the traditional gender roles that men are supposed to be strong and independent, while women are supposed to be caring and emotional.
- Gendered language: The media often uses gendered language when describing men and women. For example, men may be described as "brave" or "ambitious," while women are described as "emotional" or "nurturing." This reinforces the traditional gender roles that men should be strong and assertive, while women should be caring and emotional.
- Advertisements: Advertisements have traditionally promoted gender stereotypes by portraying men and women in specific roles. For example, advertisements for cleaning products are often targeted at women, while advertisements for cars are often targeted at men. These ads reinforce traditional gender roles by suggesting that men should be interested in cars and women should be interested in cleaning.
- Role models: The media often presents male and female role models in a stereotypical way. For example, male athletes are often portrayed as strong and competitive, while female athletes are portrayed as graceful and feminine. This reinforces the traditional gender roles that men should be competitive and strong, while women should be graceful and feminine.
Parents also play a role in perpetuating the cycle in teaching their children gender norms. They may unwittingly reinforce traditional gender roles through the toys they give their children, the activities they encourage them to participate in, and the way they interact with their children. Peers also have a significant influence on children's understanding of gender roles. Children learn from their peers what is considered "normal" or "appropriate" behavior for their gender.
Once these traditional gender roles have been imposed on young (and old) men, the stigma from those roles has far-reaching consequences. Phrases like “toughen up” and “men don’t cry” further enforce the idea that men are not allowed to express grief or sadness, lest be perceived as weak or feminine Such standards contribute to a culture in which men are shamed, rather than celebrated, for recognizing and attempting to solve their own issues. (McCrackin.) Additionally, due to this stigma, men are more likely to downplay their own symptoms, additionally furthering the divide between men and women in the mental health world (McKenzie.)
It is increasingly clear that there is a problem with how we approach men's mental health. Masculine norms pushed by the media and peers discourage men from seeking help if they experience mental health issues, and we are stuck in a cycle where we push those norms onto our boys. The first step to fixing these issues is simple: break down the stigma to improve access to care. It is important to create a culture where seeking help for mental health issues is seen as a sign of strength and courage. This can be achieved by promoting awareness and education around mental health issues, creating more inclusive and accessible mental health resources, and challenging traditional gender roles that limit men's ability to seek help when they need it.
Below, you’ll find an anthology of texts that describe the box we put boys and men in, and why it contributes to the stigma surrounding their mental health. Quotes from literary sources and a scientific study point out, through personal experience (except within the study,) the firsthand consequences of the cycle of toxic masculinity.
"We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage."
- Chimanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists
"These men raised me. They punished me when I didn't fit in. They beat me and tortured me, all in an effort to toughen me up and make me just like them. They were my uncles, my cousins, my friends, my neighbors, my stepfathers, and even my own father."
- Jared Yates Sexton, The Man They Wanted Me to Be
"Gender norms around masculinity commonly confer power and status to boys and young men, which might in part explain why norms around masculinity are difficult to shift. Paradoxically, these dominant masculinities carry risks for poor mental health. Sex differences in mental health typically emerge across late childhood and adolescence. This time is also when gender norms become entrenched, persisting into later life whereby they continue to shape mental health and help-seeking. Traditional gender norms commonly drive young men to present as strong, competitive, in control, and unburdened by vulnerability. These cultural scripts prize toughness, anger, hostility, and emotional control. Conversely, emotions characterized by vulnerability, including sadness, anxiety, and fear, trigger shame and become a barrier to help-seeking."
- Simon Rice, The Lancet
"From childhood through early puberty then into manhood, we're conditioned to swallow our pain, expressing little but indifference and detachment about the chaos around us. It only makes sense that internalized stress and confusion build over time, creating a force that will eventually find a release hatch. And we all know what that looks like: self-medication, aggression, violence, until we finally hit the wall and break. And how many people do we take down with us along this destructive path of denial and persistence? Family members, girlfriends, wives, children... ourselves."
- Jason Wilson, Cry Like a Man
"The feedback was instant, and it was mostly very encouraging and affirming. From women. Men? Not so much. But it was nuanced, because women were sharing it publicly, writing comments publicly, sending it to men publicly. Women were outspoken in their applause, but I noticed an interesting phenomenon, one that I called out in the talk itself: where were the men? Men weren't out publicly sharing or commenting (and if they were, it was usually to put me down)."
- Justin Baldoni, Man Enough
Works Cited:
McCrackin, Carmen. "Men And Mental Health Stigma - Addiction Center" Addiction Center, 10 May. 2022, https://www.addictioncenter.com/community/men-mental-health-stigma. Accessed 4 Apr. 2023.
McKenzie, Sarah K et al. “Men's Experiences of Mental Illness Stigma Across the Lifespan: A Scoping Review.” American Journal of Men's Health vol. 16,1 (2022): 15579883221074789. doi:10.1177/15579883221074789
Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi. We Should All Be Feminists. Harper Collins, 2014.
Sexon, Jared Yates. The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity. Catapult.
Rice, Simon et al. "Gender norms and the mental health of boys and young men." The Lancet, vol. 6, no. 8, 1 Aug. 2021 https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(21)00138-9/fulltext, 10.1016/S2468-2667(21)00138-9. Accessed 4 Apr. 2023.
Wilson, Jason. “Prologue.” Cry like a Man: Fighting for Freedom from Emotional Incarceration, David C. Cook, Colorado Springs, 2019, pp. 9–10.
Baldoni, Justin. “An Invitation.” Man Enough: Undefining My Masculinity, HarperOne, S.l., 2022, pp. 31–33.