The silence before dying was like the haulting of a storm.
People were standing all around the death bed wide eyed. When the final wish was being made, everyone started to become silent.
Before the fly interposed, the last wish was made.
As the life was leaving her body the last thing to be heard was the buzzing of a fly.
Words to engage the senses: Fly buzz, stillness, stillness in the Air, heaves of the storm, wrung them dry, breaths were gathering firm, interposed a fly, blue, stumbling Buzz, windows failed, and I could not see to see.
Interesting pharses: "The stillness in the Room was like the stillness in the airl between the heaves of storm" "wrung them dry" "For the last onset-when the king be witnesses- in the room" "signed away" "there interposed a fly" "between the light - and me" "I could not see to see"
Each one of these things helps the reader to really feel what the dying person and the mourning person is feeling. When the poem states "stumbling buzz," you can really hear the buzzing of a fly.
Credits:
Created with images by alan goudy - "P6190070 - Copy" • Alois_Wonaschuetz - "clouds summer storm" • Nederland in foto's - "The last Dandalion"