Love is a powerful word. To love is to have a strong feeling of closeness and care for someone. And love should never mean having to live in fear.
A young person's sexual orientation and gender identity/expression are crucial parts of their identity. Understanding and expressing sexual orientation and gender, as well as forming related identities, are common developmental processes for children and adolescents. Some teenagers, for example, may be unclear about their sexual orientation, whilst others have known and displayed it since childhood. Gender identity and roles are expressed and explored as part of natural development. Understanding and expressing one's sexual orientation and gender identity is an individual journey of self-discovery. Personal, cultural, and social variables may all influence how one communicates their sexual orientation and gender identity.
Even when it might feel like ISB is doing a pretty decent job of making sure the LGBTQ+ community at ISB feels welcomed and valid, it seems that being an ally here is still seen as an option. “I’ve been brushed off by a lot of teachers here when I suggest that they use non-gender-specific language, or I ask them to use my pronouns. But, I think they’re slowly getting better at it, some are still struggling, definitely,” confesses 9th grader, Nash Wisner, who uses the pronouns they/them. Aside from the GSA Club and Rainbow Connection, it still “really isn’t enough.” “I feel like it's glossed over a lot of the time,” says Gray Wisner, class of 2023, who uses the pronouns he/him. Furthermore, ISB seems more comfortable helping students within academic settings, but once it reaches the parents or the wider community, it tends to be a little less willing to support LGBTQ+ people and make it less visible. Instead, students have agreed on having more representation of queer people in books and media. “I think it’d be very cool to have that representation,” says a senior, Delaney Edsall, excitedly. This is studying a novel in English class which includes queer love and relationships between LGBTQ+ people, for example.
“I just want people to really try. Research should be done, even a little bit helps. If you aren’t sure of someone’s pronouns, just ask. It’s simple. Don’t assume,” says Nash Wisner. Additionally, they suggest teachers receive training in working with LGBTQ+ students so that they do not accidentally offend anybody. “Because it can’t be something you can just accept, you have to put in some effort and try to not only acknowledge us but also accept us and welcome us.”
Nash Wisner came out to their parents last year as non-binary, their mother took a little longer to respect it, even still. Their mother has tried to joke around with it insensitively and would often fight about her last name and a new name. “It’s hard because people will take her side and then it’s me fighting against the whole family.” Their brother, Gray Wisner, says that his mom believes it is just a ‘phase’.
In other cases, coming out may have purely been a result of major confusion about their gender identity and bottled-up emotions.“I kinda grew up believing that it wasn’t something that you would ever talk about, that it was not something that existed, so I was confused and didn’t know who to talk to, so I just kinda blurted it out to me one day.” says a 9th-grade LGBTQ+ student.
For this group of LGBTQ+ students, their experience at school is “okay” overall, but it is still “not too big of a thing here.” Positively and importantly, none of the students experience threats nor malice, but more of an unintended offense due to confusion. Though being on campus is generally tolerable, they have been through quite a bit of misgendering and encountered homophobic people.
Most of their safe space is in online communities where they are able to find people similar people to them and are able to empathize. Others have credited their old friends and certain people at school.
In the future, LGBTQ+ students at ISB truly hope for more visibility to parents and the wider audience, not just within the school’s campus, and to make it a norm to talk about as gender identity is not something that one should be ashamed of.
Sources:
https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbt
If you are interested in joining the GSA Club, email Sara Landry at 20838@students.isb.ac.th
If you are an LGBTQ+ student and are interested in joining the Rainbow Connection, email Mrs. Leoni at shannonl@isb.ac.th