Issue 122 – April 2023
FOUR MINUTES TO WEASEL WORDS
There are good reasons not to use weasel words. We don’t trust someone who seems to be hiding behind them. We also read between the lines to find out what’s really being said.
Four minutes into its launch on April 20, Elon Musk’s SpaceX Starship engine “experienced rapid unscheduled disassembly.” Not sure what that means? The engine blew up.
Actually, SpaceX says they “commanded” a “flight termination system” to intentionally blow it up. They consider the event a success: “With a test like this, success comes from what we learn, and we learned a tremendous amount about the vehicle and ground systems today that will help us improve on future flights of Starship.”
So why did they use the weasel words “rapid unscheduled disassembly”? I’m not sure.
Weasel words usually disguise or avoid bad news. They’re carefully worded statements that at first glance may seem positive, or at least neutral. Merriam-Webster calls a weasel word one used to “evade or retreat from a direct or forthright statement or position.”
There are good reasons not to use weasel words. As I’ve said before, we don’t trust someone who seems to be hiding behind them. We also read between the lines to find out what’s really being said.
That’s what happened last year when Bell Media announced that Chief News Anchor Lisa LaFlamme was “departing” CTV News. The public wasn’t having it, and of course it came out that she was fired. I mean, "her contract wasn’t renewed."
The corporate world has the widest variety of weasel words to cover for firing someone, including the sudden lack of contract. Here are just a few of the common ones:
- “Moving in a different direction"
- “No longer with the company”
- "Parted ways"
- "Left to pursue other opportunities"
Josh Bernoff, a writer who says he is “passionate about clear, brief, fascinating communication,” offered some amusing alternatives for the SpaceX comment. I especially appreciated “spontaneous premium pyrotechnical exhibition.”
Suggestions on Twitter included “consciously uncoupled from a solid state,” referencing the term famously used by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin to announce their separation in 2014. Other contributions were “An expedited component dispersal;” “a metallic confetti display;” and “spontaneous improvisational uncoupling.”
Well, maybe there was no intent to disguise the news. Maybe SpaceX people are just used to speaking in euphemisms. Maybe they’ve never heard of the term “plain language.” Or maybe they were just kidding.
What other ways would you describe the SpaceX event, either seriously or tongue-in-cheek? What’s your most-hated euphemism, and how recently have you heard it used? I'd love to hear!
Related reading:
Editors Canada explains plain language
A checklist for plain language from PlainLanguage.gov
Recently in the Red Jacket Diaries:
Thoughts on newsletters, print (!) and words; all in links you might have missed, March edition
Update to my ‘glory’ file with a lovely honour
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