Before we get started, I just want to talk with you a bit about this Assignment. "This is a Public Service Announcement". "YOU are #1... grown. Which means you are free to do as you want in the contexts of the law and with or without other consenting adults."

Now that that is out of the way. You first thought about what you wanted to get out of our 30 Days. Next you gave Compliments to yourself and/or someone else you care about. I hope this action was eye opening. You have wonderful qualities and deserve to have nice things said about you and you can openly and intentionally accept compliments. Then you began to Let Go and Forgive.

So now, sometime this week, you are going to step it up. If you are single WITHOUT a "love" or physical interest, you are going to come up with something you can do for and with yourself that you have thought about, can afford but have put it off. For instance, just the other day, as I do when ever I'm in the store, I looked in the mark-down floral department area. Sometimes I think of buying myself flowers, but very rarely do I actually do it. So, on this day, there were bunches of Gladiolas for 75 cents each. I bought 4 and shared the love with my neighbor by giving her 2 of the 4 as a "thank you" for her taking me to a medical appointment for which I would be unable to drive afterword. Ultimately, I love a good deal and I know I deserve to have pretty things around me.

If you are single WITH a particular "love", physical interest or someone who is NOT yet your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", I want you to think of that person as someone you would like to spend time with. Next think of what you would like to say and/or do with that person. Now call them up and tell them how you have been spending time exploring what you deserve in your life and how you think that could bring you two closer. Or that you would like to ... abc, xyz... with them. Whatever it is. Lay it out there. It may be that you feel stronger and more confident and see them in a better light because of where you are as a person. It may be that you meet them for tea at your favorite spot. It may be to have a Netflix and chill night with them, or it may be in the immortal word's of rapper Ice-T when in 1988, he said, "Lets Get Butt Naked And Fuck". Remember, you are an adult and can attract what you deserve. I'm not the judge of what you do. As I said, as long as it is in the context of being legal.

Now if you are in a committed relationship with another person (apposed to the commitment you have made to yourself by being here), create a moment to speak with your partner. Tell them how the self-work you have been doing has helped you see what you deserve and now :

1. Your eyes are opening as to how you want to be stronger, more open, more present, more giving, a more understanding person for your relationship...more whatever, or

2. YOU know you deserve more from your partner... more communication, more love, more sex, more time, more help, more whatever.

Ask them what they feel they need more of. Follow up those statements with asking your partner what they are willing to do to assist you by meeting you in the middle to help you both get more of what you deserve in/from your relationship. Make a plan. . Write it down if needed. Perhaps you two get up 15 minutes earlier to have time to really speak about what you have going on during the day and if you need assistance from the other person. Perhaps someone loads the dishwasher after dinners, while the other prepares the kids for bed, so when it is all done, you get some "alone time. Maybe, you are just tired of the same old sex positions where you seem to do all the work and would like to switch it up. Plan.

NOW, regardless to what category you fall into, (single without an attachment, dating or having sex or committed) you have a plan and its time to create the opportunities. Do something to accomplish carrying out the plan.

One word of caution. . . know that every conversation may not end as you picture it in your mind. Every plan and opportunity may not create growth within yourself or the other person. If this is the case, you have the chance to A. know exactly what or who you are dealing with or B. know that you need to adjust yourself to attract better and keep it moving if they come on board or not.

Remember when I told you about the flowers? Well that store is not one I stop at often, and the other items I went in to get, could have been purchased at a number of other locations.

I also have a male friend, who is what I call a ThunderCat (short for a man whom is younger than me and what a Cougar likes). Last month, he was unresponsive to my text and calls or he would start a text conversation and leave before it was finished. So, I simply told him that I did not think he appreciated our friendship or interaction and I deleted his number. His reply was sort of flippant, which made it easier to not care if we ever spoke again. I know that I "bring a lot to the table". I know I deserve better. After about a week, he began calling and texting with an apology that he had been wrapped up in a bunch of family events and that he would try to do better. Since then, we have seen each other when time permitted. I love the way he smiles at me while he talks to me. I think we both intentionally keep our time spent together to around 2 hours and we make clear our agenda before we get together. The plans create opportunity for us both to get what we want from our encounters. I defined my NO to get to my YES and I attracted what I deserve not just what I desire.

As always. . . share what you feel you can and remember, I am always here to assist.

Sara