5 Reasons Why Friends Add Color to our lives
5 Reasons Why Friends Add Color To Our Lives
Imagine a world without laughter. A world without smiles. A world full of cold stares, a world where everyone simply passes by each other without even saying a simple hello… A world where no one ever hugs or kisses…A world devoid of conversation, groups of people, parties, restaurants, and good times… A world where no one ever even knew each other’s name…or bothered to ask. A world tragically missing something that includes all of these things and so much more…
Imagine a world without friendship.
It sounds like a nightmare, doesn’t it? Or perhaps more like the beginning of a horror movie, one filmed only in black and white, evidently foreshadowing a gory tale?
Thank goodness that’s all it is!
There are few subjects as timeless and universal as the subject of friendship. Whether we have countless of them, a moderate amount of them, or just a few but meaningful connections, there is no doubt that our friends are precious to us.
Can humans live without friends? That’s a good question! After all, friendship does not constitute a survival skill. And while that is true, the answer depends on what the word ‘living’ means to you. There is a great difference between simply existing and actually living a full and satisfying life. Yes, we can survive without friends, we can exist without friends, but we cannot truly live without friends! It is the love from our family and friends that contribute to a dynamic, vivid, and exciting life. In short, when we are connected heart-to-heart with people, we are not limited to a mere, black-and-white existence, but to a life brimming with color, meaning and love.
Here are five reasons why friendships add such rich color to our lives:
1. Friends satisfy our innate desire for love and approval.
I did a little research on this topic, and what I found was quite impressive.
Of course, this is mainly referring to the infant’s need for the very first person to provide love- the mother. But it is also linked to why we naturally crave friendship later on in life.
The Budapest Early Intervention Project (BEIP), a project that examined the health and development of children in Romanian orphanages, found startling evidence that when infants are starved of affection, their bodies do not grow properly. In fact, for every three months in the orphanage, one month of growth was lost.
This research proves that our brain’s early development relies heavily on an environment rich in love, affection, and tender care. And that, in turn, is intrinsically connected with the rest of the body's growth. So it is not all genetically programmed, as we might think. Actually, this program depends on such an environment where emotional nourishment is available!
After the mother, it is ideally the father and then the family members throughout our childhood that shower us with the affection we need. But as we mature into adults, we continue yearning love! And after our family members and spouses, much of that necessity is satisfied in our friendships.
So the next time you hug your best friend and you feel that pleasant warm glow tingling inside, remember it’s a sign that you are successfully fulfilling your brain’s innate need for love, affection and friendship since birth! Isn’t that astonishing?
2. Having friendships is an important part of the learning process.
We’ve all been there. A seemingly amazing friend-sometimes the one we least expected- has betrayed our trust, whether by gossiping behind our backs, lying, cheating, or manipulating matters. This especially happens when we are young, impressionable, and eager for approval. We dive headfirst into these fast paced relationships without ‘checking the water temperature’ first, and consequently find ourselves taking risks with the wrong people just because we don’t want to be left out! And when things go wrong, it’s undoubtedly painful, confusing, and embarrassing.
At least in our parents' days, fights were limited to face-to-face contact. Now, to make matters worst, modern friendship feuds involve social media backstabbing, so it’s often impossible to escape! I’ve been there, and it’s so not fun.
Unfortunately, there are a few young adults who become bitter from these ugly experiences and lose faith in friendship in general, concluding that in this world, nobody can ever be trusted.
However, please, please, do not fall into the depths of despair!
Even though it may seem like these experiences have brought nothing but heartache, the reality is, if we think about it from a deeper perspective, there is a positive side to it. We have learned valuable lessons. We have learned to distinguish the fake, convenience-seeking ‘friend’, from the true, selfless, and honorable friend. We have learned to probe deep into our own habits and strive to never behave the way that particular person did. So, the next time we are faced with the same situation, we have already gone through such an incident and know exactly what to do. Or, if another young person is going through a similar dilemma, we have the right words of advice at the right time, all based on our own, raw experience.
The best part of it all is that, when we do find friends who prove to be loyal, trustworthy, and honest, we’ll remember the old ones and value the real ones more than ever before. We’ll care for these diamonds, polish them, and place them on a pedestal. And, as true friends, it is guaranteed that they will do the same with us in return!
3. Friends are the people we share the good times with.
Reflect on the last time you enjoyed yourself. No, that time when you really, genuinely enjoyed yourself, when you laughed until your stomach hurt and you smiled until your jaws ached! Well, that time was most probably spent with your closest friends, maybe at a restaurant, the movies, an amusement park, or simply hanging out and doing nothing. Sure, you can go on a ride alone or eat out alone, but it will never compare to having someone to share the experience with.
As a fun-loving, high-spirited girl myself, I totally understand that need to get out and live life to the full as a young person. It's inside all of us. And I thank my close-knit group of friends for helping me 'come out of my shell' as a shy person and explore new adventures. After all, every moment is only made much more beautiful when it is spent with the people you love!
4. On the other hand, friends are the people we share the bad times with.
There is no doubt that what characterizes true friends is the fact that they are always there, not only in our good times, but mainly in our darkest times. All of a sudden, our world flips upside down- an accident, a severe illness, or the loss of a loved one robs us of everything we once knew. Our family will surely be there, but what about our friends?
It’s in these moments when our friend list automatically filters itself out, discarding the false friends, and only keeping the authentic friends. I’m absolutely sure that you’ve been through such situations and have confirmed it for yourself. In that case, this is simply a reminder to always put your loyal friends first.
5. “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving” –Jesus Christ (Acts 20:35)
The first four reasons focused on the benefits we receive, but pushing our own needs aside, it’s much more important that we view friendship as an opportunity to give. Now that is what adds color to our lives. It’s 100% guaranteed that you feel ten times better giving someone a special present than receiving it yourself. We need people to spread the happiness to and to share the love with. That radiant glow on a friend’s face after doing them a favor is indeed priceless.
You probably know tons of other reasons why meaningful friendships contribute to our contentment and well-being. You bet you do! Friendships satisfy our inherent desire for love, approval, companionship, and understanding. We can be ourselves with them in the good times, and we can count on them during the bad times. And most of all, we can feel the marvelous sensation that comes from whole-heartedly giving of ourselves to our friends without asking for absolutely anything in return.
What would we do without our friends? What would our lives be like? Oh yeah, it would be just like that horror movie mentioned in the beginning-scary, colorless, insipid, and clearly doomed to disaster. That is why, my dear reader, always, I mean always, take the time to give your best friends a giant bear hug and a genuine, straight from the deepest fibers of your soul thank you. After all, they are the watercolor paints that embellish this artwork of yours called Life.
