Introduction
Our story begins with Velma and Thelma, identical twins with a penchant for purses. Strong, smart, and independent, the sisters had the world at their feet. They had good friends, nice cars, and thriving careers.
Thelma and Velma lived in an adorable little house with their adorable little dog, Pugsley. The determined young women were happy with their lives. They were healthy, laughed often, and tried to always keep a positive outlook.
They were perfect targets for Tom and Dom, two brothers with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). After spotting Thelma and Velma at the mall, the predators pounced on the unsuspecting sisters, changing their lives forever. When it was all said and done, the twins were unrecognizable as the vibrant women they'd once been.
Narcissists Disguised As Nice
When the twins met Tom and Dom, Thelma was instantly attracted to Tom, and Velma, to Dom. The brothers were the stuff dreams are made of, and the relationships progressed rapidly. Before long, both couples were making wedding plans.
Although friends and family warned the twins not to rush into marriage, the sisters didn’t take their advice. Madly in love, Thelma and Velma had never felt so connected to a man before. Seeing no reason to wait, they continued with their plans for the big day.
Thelma
Famous Trapeze Artist
For as long as she could remember, Thelma dreamed of becoming a famous trapeze artist. Unfortunately, she’s terrified of heights, terribly clumsy, and not especially talented. Plus, she was born with a tiny bladder, which created another challenge for Thelma. After all, there are no toilets on the high wire.
With all the obstacles she faced, it would’ve been easy for Thelma to give up. But she refused to quit, pushing forward until she attained her goal. Today, she's a famous trapeze artist, performing for large crowds of people.
Velma
The Dancing Queen
Velma’s passion was dancing, so she saved her money and opened her own studio. She works there as an instructor and personal trainer. Like her twin, Velma worked hard over the years, and it paid off. Her classes stayed full, her business was thriving, and she adored her students.
The idealization phase in a psychopathic relationship will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You will be swept off your feet, lost in a passionate fantasy with someone who excites you on every level: emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. They will be the first thing on your mind when you wake up in the morning, waiting for their cheerful, funny texts to start your day. You will quickly find yourself planning a future with them—forgetting about the dull realities of life. None of that matters anymore. They’re the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. While all of this is going on in your heart, their thoughts are occupied by something else entirely: “Good. It’s working.” —Jackson MacKenzie: Psychopath Free
Stage One: Idealization
In the beginning, Thelma and Velma were blissfully happy. Tom and Dom were kind, considerate, and very attentive. They shared the same values, likes, and dislikes as the twins, who believed they’d found their soulmates. It was meant to be. Destiny, they thought.
The twins were unaware that they’d entered the idealization phase of a narcissistic (sometimes called psychopathic) relationship. Tom and Dom wanted to quickly gain the women's trust without having to earn it, so they pretended to have the same hopes, dreams, and values. Seeming to have everything in common, Thelma and Velma saw them as the perfect partners.
The narcissists showered the sisters with compliments, attention, and professions of love. Things went according to plan, and Thelma and Velma became dependent on their approval. When the narcissists were convinced they had them hooked, they prepared for stage two, devaluation.
During devaluation, Narcissists cut away your self-esteem, confidence, and sense of who you are. Then they rip your heart out, severing, as they go, the parts that define you. When there’s nothing left to take, they discard you. But not before they spit in your face, and pat themselves on the back for a job well done. —Serena Prince
Stage Two: Devaluation
After returning from their respective honeymoons, the couples settled into married life. Within a few months, an unexpected transformation took place. Tom and Dom stopped being nice. In fact, they could be downright cruel, belittling things about their wives they once claimed to love. Where they’d been laidback before, now the men were dominant and controlling.
Upon revealing their evil natures, the narcissists began abusing Thelma and Velma physically, emotionally, verbally, and sexually. They also started ghosting their wives. Suddenly disappearing without warning, Tom and Dom stayed gone for extended periods, not answering calls, or returning texts and emails.
When they finally came back, the narcissists acted as if nothing happened. Tom and Dom refused to offer an explanation for their absence, except to blame their wives for causing them to leave.
Narcissists Have a Pathological Need for Attention, Admiration, and Praise
Thelma and Velma began to see other disturbing aspects of their husband’s personalities. Both men had an insatiable desire for attention and admiration, demanding constant attention from their wives.
Tom and Dom were hypocrites who gossiped endlessly about everybody they knew. They told grandiose stories about their physical and mental prowess that weren't humanly possible. And they always played the victim, never taking responsibility for their actions.
Covert Sabotage
Strange things were happening, as well, things the twins couldn’t explain. One morning, a wall in Thelma’s kitchen was painted a different color. That afternoon, when she got home, the wall was back to normal.
The following day, the same thing happened again. When Thelma asked Tom why he repainted part of the wall, he told her he didn’t. Then, in a condescending tone, said she was crazy, and obviously imagining things.
Narcissists are very cunning. They use subtle, indirect, and covert methods to cause turmoil, inner conflict, uncertainty, and fear in victims. The effects are devastating, causing perfectly sane people to wonder if they’re going crazy.
The sisters had never been prone to losing things. Now, Thelma’s keys kept disappearing, and Velma couldn’t keep up with her cell phone. There were times when the sisters felt something was off with their husbands, but couldn’t put their finger on what it was.
Mean-Sweet Cycles
Velma felt like she was living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, never sure of which one her husband would be. One minute, he called her terrible names, or physically assaulted her. Five minutes later, he was kissing up to her, saying how much he loved her.
Narcissists use cycles of abuse and devaluation, followed by positive reinforcement, to create an emotional attachment that’s difficult to break. Victims become desensitized to being mistreated, seeing it as normal. They’re then more willing to accept even worse behavior.
Blatant Lies and Serial Infidelity
Narcissists are known to be serial cheaters and pathological liars. Thelma caught Tom red-handed, kissing another woman. Not only did he refuse to acknowledge his infidelity, he accused her of cheating. Then he stormed out, staying gone for three days.
After Velma saw Dom riding around with another woman, she questioned him about it. Obviously lying, he told her he’d been test-driving a car as a surprise for her birthday, and the woman with him was the salesperson. Velma pointed out that her birthday, which he'd forgotten, had been the month before.
Angry at Velma for daring to question him, Dom poured a Coke over her head, broke her phone, and punched a hole in the wall.
Thelma and Velma walked on eggshells around their abusive husbands, never knowing what would set them off. Tom and Dom found fault in everything they did. When they were dating, the men claimed to have the same taste in music. Now, when Thelma played her favorite 80's songs, Tom ridiculed her for living in the past.
Stage Three: Discard
Despite the abuse and infidelity, Thelma and Velma weren’t ready to give up on their marriages. However, they weren’t given a choice. One day, the narcissists left, but this time they didn’t come back. Tom and Dom discarded their wives without bothering to let them know.
The twins found out when Tom and Dom announced on social media that they were in new relationships. Even worse, they posted pictures of themselves with their girlfriends.
Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Thelma and Velma knew their husbands’s actions weren’t normal. Like many victims post-discard, they searched for answers on Quora, where they learned about narcissism. They read several books about narcissistic personality disorder, and reached the conclusion that Tom and Dom were both pathological narcissists.
Thelma and Velma knew now that they weren't crazy. They were victims of narcissistic abuse, and this was much more than a broken heart. The twins faced a long journey to recovery.
Their self-esteem had taken a beating, they were depressed, and both had pervasive feelings of worthlessness. Thelma and Velma sought counseling to help them heal.
The Advantages of Being Discarded by a Narcissist
Curled up with a good book one night, Velma thought how nice it was not having Dom pestering her while she read. She mentioned this to Thelma, and together, they came up with a list of advantages of being discarded by their narcissist husbands.
Credits:
Artwork by Serena Prince