CYCLOPS? NO CLOPS!

Odysseus and his men they were coming home from the war on there boat. The poor men were really starving after that big war. They seen a cave that was overflowing with food. They got greedy and wanted to take it all! The big scary Cyclops named Polyphemus came and seen him stealing all of his food. The Cyclops trapped the men with a large rock and there was no way for them to get out !

“I found the biggest rock I could! There was no way they were getting past that!”, said Polyphemus with a smile, when I interviewed him.

He ate some of Odysseus’ men that was on the boat with him. Odysseus did not get eaten. He gave the giant a drinking potion to make him fall asleep. While he was asleep they made the Cyclops blind by poking him with a large sharp nasty stick.

“That was the most clever thing I could ever think of! The Cyclops could have never figured that out!”, bragged Odysseus when he returned from his trip.

The Cyclops then woke up and realize he was blind. He was absolutely furious. He let his sheep out to graze and he felt on the top of them to make sure none of the men were on them. Odysseus and the rest of the crew that were left tied themselves under the sheep and got away. How smart is that!? They got on a boat and the Cyclops threw a big rock at the boat and tried to hit it but he missed. They got away but the Cyclops told his dad Poseidon the king of the ocean to make it hard for them to get home. He wanted to seek revenge.

“If you see him, tell Odysseus, if he ever returns here, he will be eaten for sure!”, exclaimed Polyphemus at the end of our interview. I could tell he was very mad!

ODYSSEUS THE PLAYA

The star of the voyage, Odysseus, isn’t the trustworthy hero that we all make him out to be. He’s really a player. Odysseus has a wife, Penelope, waiting for him at home. But what does he do? He goes around being a player.

Odysseus met a witch goddess name Circe. She turned all his men to pigs. Odysseus tried to save his friends beautiful beast! The young man named Hermes told Odysseus how to defeat the witch. He told Odysseus to eat a drug called moly to protect him from the witch who could hurt him.

“I don’t know what Hermes gave him, but it worked. I couldn’t turn Odysseus into a pig!” Circe said, angrily.

Then he tries to lunge at her with a big large sword. Odysseus listen to Hermes directions and forced Circe to change all his friends back to their human body. Somehow Odysseus and Circe became lovers. Odysseus already has a wife! Odysseus and his crew stayed with Circe for a whole year living good while Odysseus wife at home worried sick about him.

When I caught up with Penelope later on, she was psychotic with anger. “Odysseus is a no good, cheating bastard. I am done with him!”

ODYSSEUS THE DUMMY

There is these beautiful women with powerful voices and they sing a beautiful song. They are called Sirens. The problem is, the song is like a poison. The song makes men want to come to them to see their island, and once they get there, the beautiful women kill them.

Our favorite hero, Odysseus, figures out a plan with Circe. In a moment of brilliance, they figure it out. Odysseus will put beeswax in the ears of his crew so that they can’t hear the song and won’t get poisoned. Odysseus is crazy and wants to hear the song, so he tells his men to tie him to the boat.

“I thought he was going to get killed!” said one of the men on the crew.

Man, those guys were lucky. They made it past the Sirens island. Because he was hearing the song, Odysseus really wanted to go to the Sirens, but his men pulled the ropes tighter instead. They made it past safely!

“The song was very beautiful and I thank my crew for not letting me get killed!” said Odysseus after the journey.