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Personal Essay Jordan Lubinsky

Most people learn life's greatest lessons from school or family. For me, it was food. Through three meals, food gave me the best insights into discovering myself.

Surrounded by the smell of fish sauce, pungent lemongrass, and the noisy motorbikes characteristic of a bustling Ho Chi Minh City, I took off my motorcycle helmet and sat down at a wooden table on the edge of a sidewalk. It had been a long night of exploring the city through various meals, and this was the last one. My family and I were seated along a shared table adorned with scallop-filled clams, seasoned whole prawns, and balut: a fertilized duck embryo and a Vietnamese delicacy. The waiter told us that balut was rarely eaten by tourists due to its intimidating nature. Although the word outgoing was seldom used to describe me, my palate provoked the adventurous side of me when it came to food. My interest was piqued. I had my hesitations; balut was a food outside my comfort zone. My nervousness only furthered my determination, and I reveled in the quickness of my heartbeat. I swallowed the amniotic fluid of the egg and ate it layer by layer. It filled me with an immense confidence that I hadn’t felt before. I realized that stepping outside my comfort zone brought out the most authentic version of myself.

The second meal took place as my kitchen flooded with the smell of hot oil. Latkes sizzled in a pan on the stove and my mouth watered as the smell of potatoes and onions filled the air. I peered over, dodging spitting oil as my great-grandmother, Peepa, put one arm around my shoulder. “Look at the frying pan. You see the golden brown? That’s how you know they are done.” The latkes spurred questions about her past, and I learned she started making latkes because they were my great-grandfather’s favorite. And that my grandma and her brothers would call her the “latke queen.” Making latkes with Peepa during the Hanukkah season strengthened my connection to my culture. It has always been hard for me to feel connected to my religion, but I realized at that moment my connection came through our shared culture. Standing over that pan with my great-grandma sharing her life stories while hand-forming potato patties, I felt pride in my cultural roots.

The last meal was one I often had on Friday nights in an Ethiopian restaurant down a side alley in my hometown. It was a meal I never ate alone. Ethiopian food centers itself around sharing. It was over platters of different stewed meats, vegetables, and rolls of injera bread that my family and I would recount our week. The food served as a conduit for our conversation and interaction. Everyone was involved in the same platter of food- there were no individual dishes. It created an open environment that stood in stark contrast to our typical family dinners; some were on the couch, and others were at the dining room table. Over the years, as I’ve eaten meals with friends and even with strangers, I’ve learned a lot about them through a shared meal. It establishes a safe and vulnerable space for creating connections that can’t be replicated anywhere else.

I know at 17, I have a lot to learn about myself. But I do know that food has always been and will continue to allow me to explore myself and my passions. Food is what gave me the confidence to speak at my middle school graduation and to step into performative poetry, it strengthened my connection to my culture and became important as I faced anti-semitic remarks, and the Ethiopian food I shared with my family every Friday night opened me up to connection. Food inspired my love of traveling and international relations. And as I go through life, food will always be my gateway to understanding myself.

Credits:

Created with images by Lukas Gojda - "Asian food background with various ingredients on rustic stone background , top view. Vietnam or Thai cuisine." • nerudol - "Tasty asian classic soup with noodles and meat" • Pixel-Shot - "Dreidels and potato pancakes for Hanukkah on table against dark background with space for text" • Zach - "eating Ethiopian food with a group of friends injera" • smolaw11 - "Globe model placed on plate with fork spoon for serve menu in famous hotels. International cuisine is practiced around the world. World food inter concept"