It's social media apps like TikTok, that brings instant connections across the world. TikTok's platform is flourishing with more normalized discussion of mental health disorders, generational and childhood traumas. This is the transformation of an upcoming musician known as SCHXTZO, who discusses the importance of understanding trauma and stigmatized mental health disorders. SCHXTZO has been diagnosed with Bipolar type two, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
During a FaceTime call SCHXTZO is skateboard sliding across the sidewalk while talking, phone shaky in hand. “When I was 10 I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar type two, and ADHD. As a kid I was always drawing in class, never paying attention. I refer to that version of myself as Dylan” said SCHXTZO. 'Dylan' was the kid who experienced layers of childhood trauma, he was bullied, made fun of, didn’t fit in, even experienced sexual abuse from ages four to 13. His father's roommates daughter was first and then by a male babysitter who later turned himself in. He remembers being hunched over his mother who overdosed on methamphetamine. “Dylan was never enough, I learned very fast that no one liked him, so in high school I created a version of myself that people would like and he goes by Klay.” said SCHXTZO.
Klay started to shift around the age of 17 in high school. He worked on a sporting boat making $400 cash. He then would spend that money to get more tattoos, and with that, his confidence grew. Klay was more productive working on the sporting boat, always getting things done. 'When I needed any type of work done, I always made sure to use Klay, who worked hard and invested in himself. During this time I started experiencing more anxiety so I learned to use it to my advantage instead of letting it rule my day to day life” said SCHXTZO. Klay admits, "He wasn’t the best in the books and was struggling to graduate. So I shared with each one of my teachers a book of songs I’d written about everything I’d been through in my life so far. I wanted to let them decide if it was graduation worthy and I guess they thought so, since I passed haha” said SCHXTZO.
After graduating he realized Dylan and Klay weren’t enough to make him successful in music, this is how he transitioned into who he is today. From 2017-2018 SCHXTZO wrote up to 5,000 songs, they weren’t anything polished, but he kept writing and making music in his car. He was prescribed Adderall to help his ADHD and he couldn’t sleep. During the nights he could not sleep he kept at it. At first he started out collecting various influences from old school hip-hop then started shifting into influences like $uicide Boy$, Lil Peep and Alternative Rock. “In the beginning I wasn’t good, but with more time and work that I put in the better I became. By 2019 I had up to 874 songs, I’d write an album a day, I was 19.” Said SCHXTZO.
Before SCHXTZO narrowed his focus on music survived an overdose. “When I was 19 I went on a road trip with my girlfriend at the time, she was my FP." said SCHXTZO. For those who don’t know what an FP is, it means Favorite Person. It's a trait in Borderline Personality Disorder. During this road-trip across the country she was working as a stripper, “While she was working I watched it happen, I played the game, I was around a lot of people who were similar to the influences I grew up with which was what I was familiar with. I ended up getting consistently addicted to meth and I overdosed on nine different substances before getting sent to Intensive Outpatient Program and getting clean.” said SCHXTZO. In IOP he was diagnosed with BPD, and PTSD, in-addition to Bi-polar type two and ADHD.
“I’ve been through some messed up shit and if I can help educate people on the impact trauma has and that it's possible to grow from it, I don’t want people to feel alone or like their experiences are invalid. My goal is to remain as genuine as possible and being that friend who will call you out while wanting the same response in return” said SCHXTZO. There's a higher degree now of understanding when in previous generations they just knew it existed without looking deeper into it. People would be labelled crazy or come to terms with having a hard life. Now there is more of a societal shift in the age of information. Societies perspective can further progress into a deeper understanding of how a trauma brain begins to functions a specific way.
Today, at 21-years old SCHXTZO is sober, working on his music is starting to pay off. He has connections through his mentor to well known artists today. Now he waits to hear the call that can make his dreams a reality as a musician. His mother has been sober for 17 years, and he lives in California with his girlfriend Avalon, who is one of his biggest supporters. He has gotten more tattoos since Klay first started as a teenager. His social media platforms have grown since then, right now he has up to 90.4k followers but, his original account was deleted at 350K on TikTok. His new account can be found under the username "Cultwives." While he considers starting a new chapter, he continues creating content advocating for his music, sobriety and mental health. Dedicated to using his platform to be the influence he needed, for those who may be needing it now. SCHXTZO is a Taurus and it shows for how stubborn and strong he is in the eyes of defeat, truly transforming pain into purpose.