Submission essay by Jennifer Rose, the 2023 recipient of the Marilyn Scott Academic Achievement Scholarship
For this submission, I have chosen “Intercisus,” a mixed media artwork I created on canvas. Its title refers to the Latin word meaning "cut into pieces." I created this piece to explore and research the physical impact of trauma on the brain and my own experience as a person with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, neurological damage and permanent injuries after surviving a near life-ending traumatic experience.
I focused on the reflex reactions generated in the nervous system and wanted to create a visual representation of PTSD as a nervous system response disorder. Research for this piece revealed a striking difference in how the PTSD brain and its neurons behave and highlighted the corruption in neural pathways as a key trademark of the disorder. From this discovery, I created my layout.
There was a lot of experimentation with materials and methods once I had my vision of what the piece would look like. I dragged pieces of yarn through the paint, scratched it with a palette knife, threw coffee at it, carved at it with sharpened charcoal to reveal the face, and blew black inks through a straw to represent the neuroglial cells.
Although the creation was cathartic in ways, it was also incredibly difficult; everyday living with PTSD is difficult. As much as I try to thrive and present as someone who is well-composed and capable, some days I am overwhelmed with symptoms or physically unable to perform simple tasks. I have committed to excelling in my program, but I have struggled to attend school regularly. I am a single sole-support student, but maintaining employment is extremely difficult, even though I seem to excel to those around me. I was given a wonderful and life-changing opportunity on the CCSAI Board of Directors, and ultimately resigned after a partial term due to symptoms worsening. Admitting there are some things I can’t do yet is difficult and sometimes feels like failure, but I’m optimistic about continuing to build a beautiful life for myself.
This award was so helpful in supporting me on this difficult journey and process of transforming my life, but being able to share my artwork and talk about what is behind it is incredibly meaningful and valuable to me in itself, so I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to share this. I hope for others to see this piece and be inspired by what can come of pain and trauma; it can become your pathway to a new life and the gift of transformation.
About the Marilyn Scott Academic Achievement Award
This scholarship is awarded to a full-time student currently enrolled in the second year of the Fine Arts Studio program with a minimum cumulative GPA of 3.0. Students must be registered with the Centre for Accessible Learning and Counselling Services office. Applicants must submit a piece of artwork, and explain what inspired them to create this artwork.
Check out the other School of Communications, Media Arts and Design Scholarships