How Have Friendships Changed Throughout High School? Matt Koe

Many of our defining moments throughout high school come from our friendships. Throughout our childhood, we constantly make lots of new friends. However, during high school, it becomes much more complicated. With puberty and heightened sexual desires, a new sense of maturity, and busier workloads, many teens see massive fluctuations in their friend groups.

Shannon Leoni, one of the high school counselors, has noticed many changes in students' friendships throughout the years. “I definitely notice how they change and there is a big difference in how friendships look between (different grades)”. She believes that one unique reason ISB’s friendships fluctuate greatly is due to a high influx of departing and arriving students, making “our community constantly look different”. The more free environment of high school was also said to be a contributing factor to people changing, as students learn more about themselves and meet new people through the different classes they could take. Ms. Leoni noticed that changes in friendships occur most during freshman and senior years, as freshmen change themselves due to them reacting to such a different environment, and seniors start to focus more on themselves with college coming up. Seniors start to consider if the friendships they make are worthwhile in the long run, or only temporary.

Tynn and Gavin, two ISB seniors, also have their perspectives and stories on changing friends. Tynn came to ISB in second grade and noticed lots of changes regarding friends. He noticed the groups he hung out with would change throughout his whole childhood, as he kept himself open to new people. He noticed as he grew up, he tended to be attracted to more people similar to him, specifically other Thai kids. He also noticed being around other people less, claiming that “as you mature, I would rather be with someone kind of like me, and when friends behave and act in ways you don't want to do, I start to distance myself from them.” Tynn thinks that as you mature, you should tighten your circle of friends, but still keep yourself open to meeting new people and developing friendships. “If you tighten yourself too much, you are becoming an outcast, but having really close friends lets there always be people for you when you need them.”

Gavin came to ISB as a sophomore, but even noticed friendships shrink and develop in his previous school. He said that after freshman year, a huge friend group he used to be with shrunk down, from over ten people hanging out together to around four to five. He also noticed the importance of developing friendships as a new student in ISB. As a new kid, he would always hang out with a bigger group, determined to form new bonds with them. But as he made his own friends, he noticed less of a need to be with them, slowly distancing himself to be with his closest friends. He also sees himself wanting to spend time alone, which causes him to sometimes distance himself from friends. But Just like Tynn, having friends he believes are bad influences causes him to try to avoid them. Gavin is a strong advocate for tightening your circle, believing that “it is important for a strong support group to be with whenever bad things happen.”

Teachers and students alike know for a fact that friendships are bound to change throughout school, and especially in high school, when kids mature and look at their friends differently. ISB is an ever-changing environment, and when kids realize how temporary friendships can be throughout their childhood, they realize that it is important to find and maintain friends they truly want to be with, inside and outside of school.