Contents:
- What is worry?
- What is problem solving?
- Circle of Concern
- What to do with problems I have some control over? (How to problem solve)
- What to do about things outside of my control? (Worry Time)
- Self-Compassion with worry thoughts
- Summary: The Worry Tree
- Can I talk to someone?
- Apps and Online resources on worry
We all worry at times....
Particularly when we are dealing with a lot of uncertainty or things outside of our control. Sometimes we might not even realise that what we are doing is 'worrying', but we might be aware of feeling very stressed or anxious. We might find it difficult to sleep at night due to our mind racing, or difficult to focus on tasks during the day.
It can be difficult to know what to do when we get stuck in a worry loop, with thoughts going round and round out mind.
Worry is...
- A repetitive and circular thought process which can become a habit
- Often future-based about problems which might happen e.g., What if...?
- Often involves imagining the worst case scenarios of what might happen
- Often about things we have no control over
- It is our brain's way of trying to protect us, but usually it doesn't lead us to any effective solutions or actions we can take in the present
- Can impact our sleep, ability to focus on study, and make it hard to maintain a healthy life balance
Circle of Concern
Problem solving is most effective when we have some control over the situation. Often, there are many factors involved in a situation causing worry, and it can be difficult to clearly understand which aspects we do, or do not have control over.
Stopping to consider which aspects of an issue we have some control over, can help us redirect our energy and focus into actions which are within our control. This can provide a feeling of productivity and peace of mind knowing that you have done all you can. One way we can assess our worry is shown below:
Circle of Concern contains all the factors that concern us but which we have no control or influence over.
Middle circle is the Circle of Influence and contains all the actions we can take to influence people/events to address our concerns.
Inner circle: is the Circle of Control and contains all the actions directly within our control that we can take to address our concerns.
It can be useful to map out your concerns by listing the factors into three columns. This can help you to see where might be the best place to focus your energy and attention. Below is an example completed for managing worry about cost of living:
Focus on what is within your control, and practice accepting things outside your control
Problem Solving...
...involves identifying what the problem is, and thinking of possible solutions. If it is a complex situation, we can then examine the pros and cons for each solution and develop a plan. Then we put this plan into place with actions and behaviours. At the end, we reflect and evaluate whether our solution helped us solve our problem.
The first thing to check is if there is a problem that requires solving. Head back to your Circle of Control. Ask yourself:
How likely is the problem I am concerned about?
Is the problem something happening now?
Is the problem something I have some control over?
If the answer is that the issue is very likely, happening in the here-and-now, and that you can do something about, then using problem-solving strategies may be a useful way to deal with the problem.
Step 1: Identify/Define Problem
- Write down the problem as clearly as possible
- Be objective and specific about the behaviour, situation, timing, and circumstances that make it a problem
- Describe the problem in terms of what you can observe rather than subjective feelings
- Only attempt to tackle one problem at a time
Step 5: Implement Plan
- Have faith in yourself and make a committment to try out one of your solutions
- If you get caught back into a worry loop, try using some grounding techniques
Step 6: Evaluate the Outcome
So you tried it out. Good on you. How did it go?
If the first plan didn't work out, don't give up. Go back and review your options and try something different, taking into account the new information you learnt from the first attempt.
Problem solving is more effective when written (or typed) rather than done 'in your mind'. This is because we are less likely to get distracted by other thoughts or worries.
If the problem you are worried about is a prediction of the future, of which you have little control over, then it is not a current problem that requires action. It can then be helpful to shift the focus of your attention to something else.
Worry Time... is a strategy to postpone your worry to a particular time of day, so that you don't get caught up in them and can get on with your day.
Worry time can make it easier for your brain to let go of worries.
There are two simple free apps you can use to help you give Worry Time a go. Worry Time from Reach Out.com, or Worry Tree (some paid features, but prompts problem solving process).
Acknowledge and accept what is not within your control. Refocus on the factors which are within your control, such as your routine or your response and your actions.
One of the most common traps is the tendancy to beat yourself up when you notice yourself worrying...
"Oh, there I go again worrying. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't worry about that."
This self-criticism can happen so automatically that we might not even realise it. However it can leave us feeling like a failure, impact our mood, and doesn't help us to take any effective action to improve things.
When you notice worry thoughts, try to speak to yourself gently, the way you would to someone you care about. For example, in a kind tone...
"Oops, there it is again. Thanks mind for trying to protect me, but I've got this.I am learning how to respond differently to worry thoughts, and it will take some practice. Where else could I focus my attention right now?"
If you would like to know more about learning to practice self-compassion, check out this free workbook.
Summary - The Worry Tree
Talking to someone about your worries can help you to break the worry cycle. A friend or counsellor can help you to see things from a different perspective, explore differnet ways of overcoming problems, or feel less alone with the problems you face.
Online forums can provide an anonymous space to chat with others about a particular topic and to hear other's experiences. Reach Out and Beyond Blue provide a popular chat space.
The University of Newcastle's Counselling and Psychological Services provides free confidential appointments either face to face, by phone or online. Appointments with a Counsellor or Wellbeing Advisor can be requested (no referral needed) by completing our online form.
The University's After-hours Crisis Support Line has trained counsellors who can assist with support and advice outside of business hours.
Ph: 1300 653 007 or SMS: 0488 884 165
- 5pm-9am weekdays
- 24 hours on weekends and public holidays
Webinars and Online Groups:
Check out the University of Newcastle Counselling website for details on how to register for University of Newcastle 2022 workshops and seminars.
Free Apps:
- Healthy Minds (mindfulness training program)
- Smiling Mind (mindfulness app)
- Worry Time (app specifically for managing worries)
- myCompass (personalised self help tool for your mental health)
Free Online Courses:
- Centre for Clinical Interventions - free self guided modules on worry
- Mindspot (free online courses including Wellbeing, Anxiety and Depression)
More places for mental health support:
- Lifeline has both chat and phone support
- Mental Health Line (NSW) offers professional help and advice, as well as referrals to local mental health service
- Suicide Callback Service is a nationwide service that provides professional 24/7 telephone and online counselling to people who are are thinking about suicide, worried about someone or impacted by suicide.
This video explains the using the circle of control to manage anxiety an uncertainty about COVID19 (as it was in 2020).
Last updated Sep 2022
Feedback and suggestions for these resources are always welcome. Please email: counselling@newcastle.edu.au
Credits:
Created with images by Sergey Nivens - "Troubled businessman" • luismolinero - "Teenager girl over isolated blue wall nervous and scared" • 1STunningART - "hand to forehead" • Diego PH - "Hands" • Gajus - "Businessman choosing plan B" • Creaturart - "Stormy rape field" • MarekPhotoDesign.com - "practice self-compassion inspirational handwriting on a napkin with coffee, mindset and personal development concept" • Jon Tyson - "untitled image" • Jametlene Reskp - "buoy launched at the sea"