American elegance was once king. It was an elegance born of merit, and unsullied by the influences of royalty and privilege that gave the Europeans a sometimes unattractive pretension. American elegance was born of unabashed quality with a philosophy driven by modernity, confidence and optimism. By the end of the American civil war in 1865, American fashion rivaled Europe in quality. Yes, the modern tuxedo and business suit were derived from European aristocratic fashion, but Americans invented the white dinner jacket and made it cool. By the 1960's, it was JFK who presided over Camelot, not Harold Macmillan, Georges Pompidou, or Konrad Adenauer.
Modern America has largely sacrificed elegance on the alter of convenience; the trend began slowly in the post-World War II 1950's, and accelerated in recent years. Its easy to see what we've gained--our meals are delivered to our homes with little effort, we're grateful for the ease of slipping on a pair of jeans and a sweater and heading to work, and our hermetically sealed apartments and office buildings mean we need pay little attention to the time of year or the weather. Yet, we all have nagging doubts; despite the conveniences, most of us sometimes wonder about what we've lost.
Many time-honored and elegant traditions have been cast aside--formal dinners being one example. Some of my earliest memories as a child revolved around Sunday dinner, held for reasons never explained around 2:00 in the afternoon. Sunday dinner was a formal and extended affair, beginning with cocktails, marching through an appetizer course, salad course, mains, and desert with coffee. The whole affair was capped by an after dinner aperitif like cognac or Cointtreau served with cigarettes and cigars to aid digestion. It was a ritual, one that bound the family together, and attendance was mandatory.
The importance of the occasion was underscored by the setting in which it took place. Dining rooms were not simply a place to consume a meal; they were important places of the home in which people could bond over the ritual of consuming food together--a human ritual as old as time. The dining room was a place of opulent restraint meant to both discretely demonstrate the household's ability to provide and to enhance the sensory experience of the meal. My memories of Sunday dinner have less to do with food than mirror polished mahogany, and gleaming sterling silver and crystal. Dinner was a beautiful affair, with fresh flowers, crisp Irish linen, intricately-patterned and weighty bone china, and the special feel of sterling silver flatware.
- It meant something, to be invited to a dinner, and people dressed to match the occasion. Of course one's dress was a point of personal pride, but it was also a sign of respect to the host and other attendees that you took care to match the occasion. Dressing was not just something one did for oneself; it was meant to honor those you were with by playing a supporting part in the proceedings.
- Formal dinners of this kind are almost gone and dining rooms are no longer seen as the heart of the home in America. Many Americans are now unfamiliar with the kind of entertaining that until recently was the norm for centuries and they no longer value having china, silver, or crystal. American tastes now see them as expensive, breakable, and fussy.
A close friend and renowned artist Freiman Stoltzfus recently summed up a simple truth of modern America. "We've been taught all our lives that less is more and are continually asked to accept it...but maybe that's wrong. Maybe more, is actually more." Its true, actually, when you think about it. There's a reason why Dom Perignon is more expensive than Friexuenet. There's also a reason that 10 bottles of Dom are better than one, especially when listening to Handel. Maybe we should listen to Freiman, or even Oscar Wilde, who echoed the same thought a century earlier when he noted that "...moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."
The images below of the incomparable Dakota Lee are meant to provoke some thought. They are intended to provoke thoughts of opulence. As you view them, perhaps reflect on the Stoltzfus wisdom. Perhaps we all need a bit more Oscar Wilde. Maybe, just maybe, the cure for troubled times lies in a well laid table, a fine champaign, with a mellow cigar. Maybe try it....perhaps it'll change your life for the better.