Star Board Term Four Week Three

Principal's Message

Kia Ora Koutou

PUM

For those new to educational abbreviations this particular one stands for Paid Union Meeting. As part of union membership PPTA have meetings to which teachers are invited. The next PUM is December 2nd 1:00-3:00pm. The school will remain open, but there will be no formal teaching. As such you are welcome to collect your daughters after they have eaten lunch. It is important that students sign out at the office if leaving at lunchtime. Any students who cannot be collected will be supervised.

Raising teens

I can look back at my life raising my own teens and say that there were times when it was stressful. I can state that they were great teenagers but as parents watching them go out, we never let on that we were freaking out. Talking to my children at a gathering recently (Eden is 32 and Cal is 30- I know right? how can I have children who are in their 30s? it’s great moisturiser) I asked them what’s different for teens now? Both said the incredible availability of drugs and the like.

When our children were teens, what freaked us out was not our faith in them but that the worlds into which they were embarking daily had lots of opportunity for experimentation. Our hope was that the boundaries we had created and the discussions we had had, and the wisdom they had each cultivated would keep them safe to make good choices. We were right.

Now here is something I have found, and I wanted to share with you. ‘Parenting can be a challenge, especially working out the best way to help your child grow up. Most young people want a good relationship with their family, even if they don't show it.

As they grow up, they are figuring out who they are and finding a place in their family and community. They may try to be independent, but they still need you. Show them you care and are interested in what is happening in their life. Try not to interrupt them when they are speaking and check you have understood them before you speak.’

At some point, your child will decide about using alcohol and other drugs. Many young people in New Zealand choose to try it, some of them will get into difficulties because of it, and a few will develop long term problems. There are things you can do as a family to guide your young person and reduce the chance of their running into difficulties or developing long term’.

If you do nothing more for now then visit this website, then I am a happy Principal. https://www.drugfoundation.org.nz/info/helping-someone/parenting/

When a joke is not actually a joke

Have you ever heard someone say, “It was just a joke.” The statement implies that a joke — since it’s meant to be funny — can’t also be offensive.

“Just because something is a joke doesn't mean it can't be something else as well.”

Calling something a joke doesn’t grant it immunity from offense, that it does not hurt. And it doesn’t mean that the joker doesn’t bear any responsibility for the impact of his words.

Words matter and have consequences.

But generally, we put the burden of diffusion on the recipient, or target, of the joke. If it doesn’t go over well — especially when there’s an audience. We feel compelled to smooth it over and keep the peace, lest someone think that we’re thin-skinned.

No one wants to be thought of as having no sense of humour or being overly sensitive. Rather than let someone know that they’ve hurt us, reveal our vulnerability, or risk further harm to ourselves or loved ones, we take the joke. We act like these comments don’t bother us at all. It’s the safest path.

But after the last few years, people are on edge. We’ve learned how to prioritize our well-being.

Many of us have, at some point or another, pushed our feelings aside to avoid dealing with them. We try to instead substitute what we should be feeling instead of what is. We try to wash out pain with humour, But that does not usually work out that well. So, make it known that it is not funny. If you are the bystander and you think it is not a joke – say so.

Seniors

We have wished the years 11, 12, and 13 well for study leave and exams ahead. They were celebrated last night at a very successful Senior College Prizegiving.

Have a great weekend. Stay safe and be your best selves.

Ngā Mihi

Kiri

Around School

Boarding Note from Jo Booth

It has been a huge week in boarding with the Lion King, Melbourne Cup day, exam preparation, farewells etc along with the usual sport, duties, prep and leisure activities. Here are a few photos captured throughout the week -

Please keep a look out for all notices that will be coming via Orah, as it is the easiest way to get in touch with our boarding families.

Next week we will be welcoming some of our new boarders for 2023 for the first round of overnight stays.

Jo

Student Librarians

The annual end of year morning tea to thank the Student Librarians was held on Tuesday. The warm weather meant the event could be held outside and the students enjoyed the strawberries, ice cream and cake. This event recognises the voluntary service students give to the school during the year. We also farewelled the Year 11s who will be at Senior College next year.